There is an old saying that most of our problems in life talk back. A survey of executives last year concluded that 85 percent of executive success is associated with the ability to communicate effectively. Your ability to communicate effectively is closely tied to your ability to perform effectively, to get the results for which you were hired. The quality of your communications with others will determine the quality of your life as a manager.
Small breakdowns in communications can lead to the most disastrous of consequences. So many crises in our lives, both personal and professional, are triggered by simple misunderstandings and sometimes the inappropriate or incorrect choice of words. Your greatest resource as an executive and your greatest source of personal power is your ability to communicate effectively.
Four types of communication take place in any organisation:
1. Getting and receiving instructions and assignments. The key to giving instructions to other people is to give the instructions clearly, to discuss exactly what is to be done, how it is to be done, when it is to be done, and to what standard of quality. Take the time, patiently, to have the individual feed back to you exactly what you have asked him or her to do. Also, the more the other person has an opportunity to discuss the job, the more committed he or she will be to the successful completion of the job. Ownership goes hand-in-hand with participation in goal-setting at the outset.
2. Sharing and discussing information in meetings. The natural tendency of most executives in meetings is to wander in circles. Work from and stick to an agenda. Eliminate interruptions. Stop all phone calls, close the door, and refuse to take any messages or interruptions. Nothing is so demoralizing or insulting to another person than to continually interrupt your meeting or conversation with him or her to take care of other matters.
3. Giving feedback, correction, and discipline to those who report to you. One job of the manager is to be a teacher and a disciplinarian. To do your job properly and to develop your staff to make their highest contribution, you must give them continual feedback on what they are doing right and where they can improve.
One way to resolve disciplinary issues is to focus on the future. Explain clearly to the individual what you want to see done differently, get agreement from the individual that it will be done differently, and then agree to meet regularly to review progress. Always end with an expression of faith and confidence in the individual to preserve the person's self-esteem and self-image. Remember, the only purpose of constructive criticism is to improve performance. If we humiliate or denigrate other people, their performance will likely deteriorate.
4. Problem solving and decision making. First ask, 'What exactly is the problem?' Clarity of definition will resolve many issues. When discussing a problem, focus on the future, not the past. Ask, 'Where do we go from here? What are our options for the future?' Talk about the solutions, not about the problems. The discussion of solutions is inherently positive, uplifting, and tends to release creativity. You become a positive thinker simply by being a solution-oriented person. If you get everyone thinking and talking in terms of solutions, you will be astonished at the quality and quantity of ideas that emerge.
Effective executives convey their meaning clearly and unambiguously. They accept 100 percent responsibility for being understood and for understanding the other person's point of view.
Many of our communication problems occur when one or the other party is distracted or preoccupied by something else. Effective communicators pick their time to communicate carefully. Not only do they prepare well in advance, but they make sure that the other person is ready and open. They ask, 'Is this a good time to talk?' or they make arrangements in advance to meet at a specific time and just talk about a single issue.
The fastest and the easiest way to achieve the understanding that leads to performance and results is to listen well.
There are four elements of effective listening.
One, listen attentively. Pay close attention to what is being said. Listen without interrupting and without attempting to interrupt. Listen patiently, listen quietly, listen with completely focused attention on the other person.
Two, pause before replying. When you pause before replying, you avoid interrupting the individual if he or she is simply stopping to gather his or her thoughts. When you pause, you convey that you are giving careful consideration to his or her words. And, when you pause you hear what the other person has said better.
Third, question for clarification. Ask open-ended questions: 'What do you mean?' People will often rephrase what they said in words that make it easier for both of you to understand. Ask other questions that start with the words 'how, who, what, where, when and why.' These open-ended questions give people a chance to expand or clarify their thought.
Fourth, feed it back in your own words. Paraphrase what the person has said and then ask them to agree if you have it correctly. When the individual responds by saying, 'Yes, that's it,' you are then in a position to respond to the real message that was sent.
Listening builds trust. We trust people who listen to us. And we are more open to their influence, guidance, and persuasion.
So, listen carefully to what others are saying. And, be willing to be influenced by them, just as you wish them to be influenced by you. Communication is a two-way process.
