Lately I've heard this strange speech pattern from many public figures being interviewed on television. When asked to elaborate on a point or provide information, instead of making a simple, straightforward statement, they phrase their message as a question and answer. So we get a series like this:
Do we have all the answers? No. Do we still have a long way to go? Yes. Are we moving in the right direction? Yes.
What a silly way to speak. The straightforward, natural expression of these thoughts would be, "We don't have all the answers and we still have a long way to go, but we're moving in the right direction." That's much better, because it communicates the message much more clearly than the gimmicky questions do.
Now this virus is spreading, and I'm also hearing the one-person Q&A session from people in the workplace too. I'm tempted to interrupt just before they answer their own question and say, "I don't know. I thought you did."
Perhaps when politicians do this, it's yet another ploy to give them a moment to think before they answer the question, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. We in the business world should also learn the art of buying time before answering --- but there are better ways.
If you're asked a question at a meeting, for example, you don't need to spit out your answer in a split second. There are some simple bridging words you can use to give yourself a moment to think. The simplest example would be, "Let me think about that for a moment." You could also say, "That's an interesting question," but don't overdo that one, or it can also becoming distracting.
Sometimes the self-directed question can be useful if an interviewer isn't making the question clear. You might then say, "If you're asking me if we will be expanding our product line this quarter, then the answer is no". This is obviously an attempt to clarify the subject in order to be sure you are answering the right question, and is perfectly acceptable-once.
But when a series of factual statements is turned into a list of artificial questions, it's just plain silly. Not only that, but it soon becomes irritating, and verbal irritants make for poor communication.
If you want your message to be clear and forceful, don't ask yourself questions-just say what you want to say.
Examples Of Poor Communication
If you aren't aware, gender plays a pretty heavy roll in the challenges we face communicating. But I believe there is middle ground a couple can find. Effective communication between a husband and wife can be learned and developed; there are simple things we can do to open up those channels that will help in a lot of different ways.
Let's talk about a few simple questions you can ask the one you love on a regular basis that will help your relationship and to open up those communication channels that are essential to a successful marriage.
?How was your day??
I have been married for a number of years and I have never missed a beat on this one. I work at home and my wife is a nurse and works in a surgery center. Every afternoon when she opens that door, I make it a point to ask her that question.
I think it does a number of things? it's a great way to open up those communication channels everyday. It's a great way to stay in the lives of the one you love. Knowing what's going on with them at work or elsewhere helps tremendously; it can actually relieve stress and improve your relationship.
You want to support your spouse. You want to make it obvious that you care!
If she (or he) is having a bad day, then listen to their problems. Pay attention; don't act uninterested either. Nod and comment so they know you are in tune with what you are saying. And offer words of encouragement and if there is an opening to help, get in there and help!
?How are things going??
This is similar to ?How was your day??. This questions can be littered throughout the day. Often my wife calls me during her work hours. I want to ask her how things are going. It again shows you care and also you might be able to say something that eases the stress of the day.
Sometimes she's (or he's) keeping something bottled up; give her that release. Sometimes they are calling for a reason beyond what you initially perceive. Find out what's really on their mind by asking this simple question.
?Can I help you with anything??
Yes, I know that the last thing you want to do is to be torn away from what you are doing. But if you see your significant other is struggling with something or has their hands full, see if you can help!
This goes a long way. Again it shows you care and it will do tremendous things for your relationship if you pitch in and help each other! They might even have more energy and will be more willing to help you when you need it!
You are not always going to be asked to help. But that doesn't mean the one you care about doesn't need help.
?What do you have going on this week??
Oh I love this one! Usually this is a great question for the weekend.
Knowing what's going on in each others lives is essential. Communicating that is not always foremost on our minds. So open up that channel by asking what they have going on!
I ask my wife this a lot. Well, truth be told, she's a lot better organized then I am. So this also helps me work around what she has planned.
This can also lead to spin off discussions. You might discover she's doing something you didn't know about or you might be interested in learning more about.
Maybe you can lend a hand with something. Maybe something she (or he) is doing conflicts with what you are doing. This is a great time to get it handled; before the day it happens!
Communication is essential to a happy, carefree relationship.
There are simple questions like I highlighted about above that can provide you ignition for conversation.
Married couples must stay involved with each others lives; they at least need to know what the other is doing. This makes it much easier to get through each day and also it brings you closer to each other.
Without communicating, you risk growing apart and problems that could have been avoided can be handled before they become big problems!
Both Helen Wilkie & Joseph Taylor are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.