Is it already too late? You're probably thinking that there is no way you'll ever be forgiven after having an affair. You are really in big trouble this time. You realize the mistake you have made because you have lost something you can never have again. Now, you are trying to figure out how to gain your girlfriend's trust back after having an affair in a relationship.
Most people believe that if a partner had an affair it is enough cause to end a relationship. But there are also those who disagree. I think a relationship can be saved regardless of how crazy things may be, if both parties are willing to work it out.
However, in situations where cheating is involve it would certainly require more effort and hard work. Rebuilding trust after an affair requires an adjustment in you attitude and in your course of action.
There is no excuse for hurting your ex the way you did. You cannot undo what you have done but the good news is you can fix it. But before you can make amends you will have to recall what made you or pushed you to be unfaithful.
Ask yourself some basic questions like, when you strayed, was there something you are looking for you feel is missing in your relationship. Was it the sex? Do you lack quality time together or communication? Was she too busy to be with you? Were you looking for someone who looks a bit more good looking and someone who spends time to fix herself?
Let's face it, you will not get into another affair if you are happy with how your relationship is going. If you want to get back together with your ex you must first make sure that you will not commit the same mistakes again.
Make an honest self analysis of the situation. Find out how you can fix the core issues and problems of the relationship. After you have pinpointed the main problem only then you can try to fix restoring the lost trust between you.
In some instances it requires the couple to undergo marriage or relationship counseling. This is a big step for both of you if you want to really understand each others thoughts. However, you must also be ready to make concrete steps to clear things out.
The best you can do right now is to not only make small promises but make sure you have the will and strength to keep them. That includes even the smallest promises you make like being always on time whenever you meet. Or take a sincere effort to know her family or support her in her job and undertakings. This is the key to healing and regain your lover's trust. Do it and do it consistently.
If your ex sees that you are really serious in keeping your word, this will help a great deal in gaining the trust back. When you have proved that you are worthy to be trusted even in small things, she will give you a second chance and take the risk to trust you again.
You words and more importantly, your actions should assure your ex that you have already changed. Be prepared to treat comments about your cheating to surface every once in a while. Give him or her time, to forget. If you really want to be with her, you should learn to be patient.
Learning how to gain trust back after cheating takes time. It requires a change in your attitude and actions. Just keep a positive outlook in the situation and believe that you can bring back the intimacy and love you once shared and heal the wound that damaged what was once a beautiful relationship.