How to Deal with No Intimacy in Marriage

By: Karl Augustine

Being stuck in a sexless marriage can have you feeling a wide range of feelings from loneliness, listlessness, confusion, unconfident. These feelings come about for a variety of reasons. They can be overcome if you just figure out why you're in such a situation. 

How to Deal with No Intimacy in Marriage
These are the common scenarios that leads to marriage with no intimacy;

1) We both work too much!
You both work extremely hard and there just never seems to be enough time to get together, your schedules are skewed. This is true a lot nowadays. Lots of couples are married but just live together like roommates if both parties have 'time-consuming' careers. If not managed properly, it is unfortunate but common for people in this type of lifestyle to end up in a sexless marriage.

2) You work, I stay home with the kids
One of you work very hard with your career while the other stays at home to raise the children. This situation can lead to a marriage with no intimacy, primarily because of the seemingly disparate priority of each party. The spouse with the career may need to work after hours, travel, or attend 'post work' functions and the spouse who stays home raising the children may not have any other outlet for relaxation away from the home front.

  • The spouse with the career may say at times,
    'Why do you think I work so hard? I do it for you, the kids, our family, etc.'.
  • The spouse who stays home with child may reply
    'You have another release, you have social interaction daily with the outside world. I feel stuck here sometimes, I need to get out and have time for myself.'

3) There's just no spark left
This is a common situation. It can be caused by a variety of things including emotional scars, bad experiences, boredom, laziness, etc. In this situation, there is deep cause for concern from both parties because both parties aren't happy sexually but don't really know why it ended up this way. Both parties have just 'let things go' and didn't place a high enough priority on their sex life with their spouse, which in and of itself is very concerning.

Why would either or both parties let things get this way when love making is so important?

Sometimes there's a feeling of being taken for granted that can occur in this type of sexless marriage. Both parties should realize that sex is a basic human need and should take priority over other things at the right time. It takes work to get out of this type of sexless marriage, you need to sit down and figure out why your marital love life has dwindled. If you both really want to rekindle things, you can do so, but you both need to take equal responsibility for correcting the problem.

If there is no intimacy in your marriage, remember that it is not unrecoverable. If you're to the point of thinking about getting a divorce because of your marriage, take the time to sit down and figure out how it got to be the way it is now.

  • If you've lost interest in your spouse from a sexual point of view, you need to define exactly why that occurred.
  • You need to think back to a time when you did 'have the spark' and recall what you both were doing, feeling, thinking, etc.
  • Identify what has changed, why it has changed, and what you can do about it. When you get that portion figured out, you may well on your way to taking the first step of recovering from your sexless marriage.

Remember, if you really want to rekindle your relationshipFind Article, you can.

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