Ways Father';s can Invest in Their Children

By: Darrin F. Coe, Ma

One of the primary negative impacts on children is the lack of a consistent, nurturing father or father-figure. One of the primary predictors of future violent behavior in boys is how much neglect they perceive from their father. It’s not enough for “dad" to go to work, come home, read the paper, watch ESPN and then go to bed. That’s being a roommate not a dad.
Children need to perceive active investment from fathers. We’ve defined a good dad as the man who works consistently, brings home the paycheck, and doesn’t openly abuse his children and family. I think it’s time to expect more out of fathers. Here’s some suggestions.
1) Mentor Humility: Fathers can have a powerful impact on their children if they are willing to actively mentor humility.

Showing children it’s ok to admit when they are wrong and placing others before one’s self are powerful investments.
2) Invest Time: Set aside time for your children on a regular, frequent basis. This time is for the kids. It allows them to bond with dad and each other in a familial, empowering way. This develops family coherence, problem solving development, and can be used to develop ethics and values.
3) Have bedtime with your children: Fathers should set aside bedtime as very specific time to spend with each of the children. This is a time to reflect on the day, a time to establish calm communication with the children.

Children require a sense of safety and security. Bedtime can be used to create a quiet atmosphere that encourages your children to share and allows them to see that you are there for them when the world is dark and unsure.
Finally, both mom and dad should participate in bedtime. If children can fall asleep feeling safe, and secure they will experience a higher quality of sleep leading to improved, positive behavior. They will trust their parents more, leading to an increase in communication.
Fatherhood is no longer about procreation leading to paycheck contribution. It is investment leading to excellence. Fathers need to be as involved or more involved than mothers in the raising of children.

Darrin F. Coe, MA is the father of two very active pre-schoolers and a mental health professional

Darrin F. Coe, MA
1019 Clover
Canon City, CO 81212

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