How to keep the spark of romance alive? From the time that they're little girls, women's imaginations are filled with dreams of romance. They have make-believe weddings with their dolls and teddy bears, they get crushes on boys (while boys are still more interested in building forts than stealing kisses), and even as adults they swoon over “chick flicks” about star-crossed lovers who beat the odds and find everlasting bliss in each others' arms.
It can put a lot of pressure on a guy, figuring out just what women want in the romance department – is it all just candy and flowers? What do women want from romance?
Some of the longest lasting marriages are those where each partner made sure the other knew how passionately they were loved, no matter how long they'd been together. So keep the spark of romance alive!
- They want your complete attention.
A truly romantic gesture is one that lets a woman know that you were thinking of her, and only of her. Anyone can buy flowers. Heck, you can even get them at the supermarket. But a more romantic gesture is to buy her favourite flowers, and have them delivered to her office (where she can show them off to her jealous co-workers, of course).
What's even more romantic is to show up at her place of work at closing time holding that big bunch flowers yourself, with a car waiting to take her to her favourite restaurant. Just remember that it's not the flowers that are romantic – it's knowing what her favourite flower is, and making a grand gesture that's devoted purely to her.
- They want you to pay attention & that you remember.
As I just mentioned about the flowers, romance isn't about empty gestures. As a guy, you may think that being romantic has to involve candlelight and roses, but anything you do that's thoughtful and unexpected is romantic. Picking up an entire box of her favourite kind of ballpoint pens when you're at the office supply store is romantic.
Getting her some thick, fuzzy socks because the weather's turned cold, or bringing one of her favourite movies on DVD, or replacing her shampoo because you used some and saw it was getting low. These things show that you think about her and to women, that's the main thing that romance is all about.
- The want to feel beautiful.
One of the best parts about romance is that it makes women feel desirable. Current research shows that women as young as ten suffer from negative body-image, and few women feel really good about their appearance most of the time. But when she's being wined and dined by a new suitor, a woman feels pretty and special – and if she doesn't, the romance isn't going to last long. So tell her that her hair looks like velvet, that her skin is the softest you've ever touched, and that her eyes are like deep, glistening pools. Tell her every complimentary thing that pops into your head, because this is the time to make her feel like a sexy goddess – and she'll show her appreciation for your efforts.
- They want to be surprised.
Whether you've just started dating or you've been together for years, the key to romance is to keep her guessing. If a weekend trip together takes you past a small, family-run winery, stop in and enjoy an hour of wine-tasting – because doing something fun on the spur of the moment is romantic. Stop by her office with lunch in the middle of the week, or just put a chocolate on her pillow so she'll find it when she goes to bed. We all get bogged down with schedules and responsibilities, and it's tempting to take the easy road when it comes to dating and romance. But to be truly romantic, you need to put a little thought into doing things that are fun and creative.
- They want to feel loved.
It's hard for men to understand, but women need regular reinforcement that they're loved because they worry that their partner will fall out of love and leave. Often, this fear is entirely irrational, but if the man they're with doesn't say or do things to let her know she still has his heart, she may fear the worst.
So tell her that she looks great in a certain dress, or that you love the smell of her perfume on her neck. Take her out to a nice restaurant for no reason in the middle of the week, and lay a rose on her side of the bed once in awhile. Don't assume that she knows you love her simply because you're still around – make her feel how much you care by acting like a man in love and treating her like someone who's heart must be won again and again.