Even the best of lovers and spouses can feel trapped in a stale marriage or relationship as the years pass. Though we still love our mate, we might feel bored with the routine. Don't just rekindle the romance, or fan the flames, add kerosene to the fire of it, and use Valentine's day as a celebration of love, a reason to try something different, and then make it a habit, a new way of life to change the parameters and depth of the relationship. These tips are tried and true and have worked for many couples.



Find a reason to touch skin. Whether it is going dancing or giving each other a "private gift certificate" for a mutual massage that night. Don't just write the certificates, do it. Or really go dancing, slow dancing, or both. Hold hands and windowshop in the mall. A public show of affection can have a very positive long-lasting effect.

Don't just make dinner, make haute' cuisine. If you are not a born-chef, get a cookbook or surf the net for some exotic dish. Don't tell your partner or spouse that you are planning it, only that you are going to cook because it is Valentine's day. They may be expecting a t-bone steak but this time try an exotic spicy ethnic dish, perhaps some wine, and candlelight with soft music in the background. If you feel uncomfortable in the kitchen, make a formal invitation to dress up and go out to an elegant little French bistro or Italian restaurant. Just make it fun and different than the regular routine meal. Watch her (or him) smile in amazement. Send a surprise gourmet lunch to your loved one's workplace. Order it over the phone, pay by credit card and send it from "A secret admirer". When your partner tells you of the gift, just give a mischievous smirk. They will understand. Then hug and kiss her (or him) on the cheek and say, "Happy Valentine's Day".

Try a slinky dress or evening gown and sexy underwear for the night. If you are a woman, perhaps a thong rather than your regular undergarments and perhaps a nice negligee over it (or no negligee at all, just the thong under your clothing. If you are a male, some sexy boxers.

Just use your imagination. Do one or a combination of these things and it will not just rekindle the flame, but fuel the fire, and you are bound to learn knew things, perhaps even major things about each other. Enjoy the exploration.