This is a subject that I feel passionately about because I have experienced first hand the devastating effect that it can have on any individual being targeted. I was bullied in my first year at secondary school and developed alopecia (hair loss) as a result. I dealt with the problem by believing that the bullying must be my fault and didn't want to bother anyone with my ?little problem'. Thus, I have vowed as a parent never to assume my child is not the sort to get bullied.
Bullying comes in many forms and is easier than ever for the perpetrators to achieve on a mass scale, given the advances that have occurred in modern technology and the access all of our children have to it within our homes.
Also as a mother I can vouch first hand for how upsetting the effects of bullying can be both for the child and parent, as one of my own children has also suffered briefly the same plight. When my child first came to me with this problem, I wondered if I should have spotted the signs earlier and punished myself for not being able to help sooner. But by approaching his school and talking about things openly the problem was soon sorted out and we all moved on positively.
Yet it is not just the parents of the victim that struggle to deal with this problem. In my role as Parent Coach I see increasing numbers of parents who come to me asking "what did we do wrong" - when confronted with the truth their child is actually doing the bullying themselves.
Bullying is an age-old problem that is still rife in its various forms throughout schools today. As many as one third of children between the ages of 12-15 have been the victims of bullying. Just by passing on a hurtful or nasty text or e-mail children are becoming involved and continuing the bullying and this is also known as "bystander bullying" Parents should talk to their kids about this side to bullying too.
My own son didn't fully realise the implications of a fun video he made with friends when he posted it up on utube and the whole incident got out of hand when his school got involved. Children don't realise it really is a world wide web and adverts appear on sites that have nothing to do with the intention of the person posting that can also cause offence.
Yet despite these figures, parents are still unsure as to what really constitutes bullying and more worryingly many are just blissfully unaware of the dangers.
Parents assume that once safely at home children are free from the strife of the playground jungle and could not possibly be at their most vulnerable. But in truth for many this is where the problems begin.
A bully need no longer run the risk of inflicting their callous words upon their victim in public when it is just as easy to send groups email, pictures and post comments on social networking sites such as bebo, myspace and facebook.
Parents would be wise to get proactive and take an active interest in what their children are up to on the Internet and with their mobile phones. Parents need to be aware that bullying has entered the 21st century.
As a result of cyber bullying children regularly avoid school, experience depression, self harm and in worse cases attempt suicide. It is a serious issue.
Cyber bullies can remain "virtually" anonymous with temporary email accounts and pseudonyms in chat rooms, instant messaging programs, and other Internet venues making it very difficult for individuals to determine the identity of aggressors. Cyber bullies can hide behind some measure of anonymity when using the text-message capabilities of a cellular phone or their personal computer to bully another individual, which frees them from the normal and usual social constraints on their behaviour.
What's more, your child is at the mercy of bullies 24 / 7 once it begins, mobile phones enable children to receive abusive texts emails and phones any place, any time, anywhere.
So, it is great news that the industry has taken on some of the moral compass over this issue and aided the government with their campaign, providing practical tips including not responding to malicious texts or emails, saving evidence and providing passwords, editing and barring on different mediums. However, parents must actively be aware and take part in helping to combat this problem at is source - the children themselves.
Parents need to be aware what to look for in their children if they think they maybe being bullied and just as worrying, how to put a stop to a child who has taken to bullying others.
Parents need to teach their children to report bullying if they see it happening to others because they can help put a stop to it. Teach your children to always do the right thing. They are not being ?snitches' or ?grasses'. Explain that even though just standing by may be easier, everyone needs a little help from time to time.
By keeping a detailed diary or journal of events children can really help themselves by remembering and recording specific details.positive-parents.com) for reporting to the proper authorities.
With all the risks and challenges that cyber bullying brings, parents should look to set guidelines on their child's usage of their mobile phones and talk to them about what is and isn't acceptable behaviour when texting.
Surprisingly, many parents overlook mobile phones and never think to set any rules of use and just allow their children carte blanch - failing to think about the access their child may have via their personal mobile phone to the internet. Parents need to set guidelines similar to those for a PC, including how much time is spent on the phone, which applications are allowed, and who the children are allowed to contact.
Children who have mobile phones need to be aware that their parents are monitoring their behaviour and are keeping an eye on what they are doing. This way parents are taking an interest and in the back of their child's mind will be their parents warning, which should ensure their usage patterns and behaviour will be more thought through and consequences taken into consideration.
A further pereventative measure parents can take is to block numbers and sites. Many mobile operators offer the ability to limit access or block sites, numbers or access times for the cell phone. Contacting service providers and asking what options are available will help parents discover how best they can combat any potential problems.
Furthermore, you can also find out how and when your child is using their mobile phone. One helpful way to keep an eye on your child's mobile phone activity is to look at their bills and to see where their messages are going and to look for patterns.
It is impossible to irradiate cyber bullying; however, we should all be aware of the dangers and be ready to act when needed. Bullying has profound affects on a child's development and we must ensure we are doing all we can to conquer this age old disease.
Consequences Of Cyber Bullying
Ahh...the Internet...the amazing portal to a vast world of information, entertainment, and everything else in between. Internet technology has revolutionized the way we work, play, learn, and communicate. What started out as an experiment in a Harvard University laboratory is now one of the primary means by which people in the 21st century do business, exchange information, and relate with other people. Aside from its use as a research tool, the World Wide Web provides other services such as email, instant messaging, file sharing, online forums, and blogging. As a technology, it has made an impact on the social structure and behavior. As an example, there now actual cases of people who met online and later got married.
But even the Internet is not immune from misuse or abuse. Like other inventions of man, it too has been subjected to various forms of wrong application. One good example is cyber-bullying, a term that refers to bullying and harassment by use of electronic devices. Cyber-bullying and harassment is actually done through e-mail, instant messaging, blogs, mobile phones, text messaging, and other electronic media.
In a survey done by Pew Internet and American Life, it was found out that at least 33% of teenagers had been the victim of some form of cyber-bullying. These acts involved sexual harassment, threats of harm, name-calling, and other harmful and unwanted acts.
Online bullies use their computer and Internet skills to shock, intimidate, insult, and control unsuspecting online users. These acts of intimidation cause embarrassment, fear, stress, and anxiety. Some people who have become victims of online harassment also suffer from depression. The depression has caused many of these victims to either retreat in isolation or seek revenge through their own brand of harassment.
Since surfing the Web can be done outside of school or out of the watchful eyes of teachers and parents, many young people need to be re-educated about ?Web Safety.? School authorities, guardians, and parents must help young people and other individuals who use the Internet to learn the following Web Safety Measures:
?Don't use your real name every time you sign up for a web service;
?Don't give personal information such as your gender, age, address, school etc.;
?Don't send photos or post photos on the Internet;
?As much as possible, avoid entering chat rooms. Most people who are in the chat rooms are not truthful with their profiles or identities. They are not who they say they are.
?Keep a copy of the offending email. You may need the copy if you decide to take legal action about it.
?Never easily agree to meet with anyone that you just met online.
One of the worst things that can happen to a victim of online harassment or cyber-bullying is to be neglected. If a victim feels that he or she does not have anyone to go to for help, that person may fall in a deeper state of depression. Much worse, the victim could even develop a serious anxiety disorder, which, in turn, might lead to suicide.
It will take the joint effort of school authorities, parents, and the community as a whole to stop cyber-bullying. Everybody must take part in preventing the cyber-bullies from using one of the world's most important inventions into a cyber-tool for threat and intimidation.
Both Sue Atkins & Zuske Sagara are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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