Marriages can have troubled times. Maybe it's because of infidelity or the quiet drifting apart of a long term marriage ? in any case, when your marriage is having tough times, you need help to make things right again. However, not everyone has the resources or the time to seek professional help. The good news is that you can fix your relationship without a therapist, though you might need a therapist in the future.
For now, you have each other
When you're hitting a rough spot in your marriage, it's time to talk about why you want to save the marriage first. Sit down with your partner and start to discuss things that are keeping your together and memories that remind you of better times. You might want to sit down with photo albums and journals to talk about the times when you used to laugh, when you used to be happy. Many times, this simple exercise can help to put your current problems into perspective and help to put you on a positive path to a healthy relationship.
Make a promise
Too many times, we are afraid to make promises to our partner because we're afraid that we won't be able to follow through, that we won't be able to be perfect in everything we do. However, the truth is that no one is perfect ? we can only try our best. If you're in a hard spot with your marriage, you will want to make a promise to each other that you will do the best that you can to make things better between the both of you. Promise to do whatever it takes and that you will give all of your free time and attention to fixing whatever has been broken. And then stick to that promise.
Realize that you're not going to be perfect
Even in therapy, couples aren't perfect with rebuilding their relationship. Things go wrong, life can throw curve balls, and people can make mistakes ? you will not always do everything right. But what matters is that you try to move toward doing what's best for your relationship. To go into fixing your marriage, thinking that everything is going to be easy and without flaws is just not realistic. Try to do the best that you can, but forgive yourself and forgive your spouse when you're not able to choose the right thing. It's how you recover and learn from these mistakes that will make your marriage stronger in the end.
Set aside some time to work on your relationship
You will need to set up some time in which you can work through your problems and your issues. Much like traditional therapy, you might want to schedule in appointments with each other in order to have time to talk. Try to make this time as uninterruptible as possible so that you're not distracted by anything else ? so that you can focus on your marriage. You might want to set up time away from your living space in order to bring a new perspective to your discussions. Maybe heading out for a hike or to a spa for a day will help you both change your feelings about whatever you are talking about ? and help you resolve it.
You don't have to do what everyone else has done
Your relationship needs specific tools to be fixed, but the way that works for you might not be the way that works for everyone else. This is why communicating with each other is so important. When you're able to talk honestly about your feelings and about your needs, you will be able to create plans that make sense for the way that you want things to work out. Your methods might not be ?normal,? but if they're making your relationship happier and healthier, it only matters what works.
Get the tools
But there's nothing stopping you from looking at the writings of therapists and other experienced authors. Bookstores have sections devoted to healing marriages and getting past any number of relationship battles. In a pinch, you can also head to the library for a free assortment of self help tools. The point is that you find something that works for you and your relationship, so it might take time to find the right book.
How To Fix Your Marriage
There are innumerable reasons why people who are married need to go through marriage counseling. The number of differing personality types means that there are various psychological permutations between two different people and when problems in their marriage occur it can be very difficult to handle the varying emotions and outlooks of the two people concerned. The vast majority of marriages are faced with difficulties at some point and it is sad to note that many marriages are so crippled by them that they end tragically in the divorce court.
Marriage counseling can be fairly effective in many cases and can often prevent a marriage from totally breaking down but some marriages are so beyond help that they cannot be saved despite the best efforts of a marriage counselor. A marriage is simply a partnership when all is said and done, and for it to be saved requires that the husband and wife are really sincere about wanting the marriage to work out else there is very little point in trying to save it.
Unfortunately, marriage counseling is invariably sought only when the marital situation is in dire straits and it could have taken many years to get to that stage. Many married couples have kept their problems bottled-up inside but sooner or later a trigger event makes these problems burst into life and forces the couple to realise that something drastic has to be done to stop the marriage from finishing up in the divorce court. This is when the services of a qualified marriage counselor may be the only way to save the marriage.
Usually, both husband and wife attend a number of counseling sessions together to discuss specific issues concerning their marriage. The marriage counselor will try to help the couple to understand their problem and then he or she will work with them to find a solution to the problem.
Research into marriage counselling has indicated that it has beneficial effects on the mental and physical health of an individual and can improve the relationship between a married couple.
The mere act of going to a marriage counselor, however, is no guarantee that things are going to work out fine because no one can make a married couple in conflict get along together unless there are some changes made in the attitude of at least one, if not both, of the two people involved. No marriage can be repaired if the couple fail to suspend their egos and accept the fact that they may be partly to blame for the marriage breakdown.
In the final analysis, like anything worthwhile, it will take constant attention to keep something running smoothly and marriages are no different in that respect. Remember this and you should never need a marriage counselor.
Both Cucan Pemo & Anthony Bradley are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Cucan Pemo has sinced written about articles on various topics from Divorce and Infidelity, Family and Marriage. Discover how you can easily bring back the Love of Your Life!- A Potent 4-Step Strategy which always work! ... No matter how stubborn the resistance, no matter how far. Cucan Pemo's top article generates over 90500 views. Bookmark Cucan Pemo to your Favourites.
Anthony Bradley has sinced written about articles on various topics from Fitness, Online Dating and Wine and Spirits. Anthony Bradley is a writer for Save Your Marriage If you are interested in more articles on the topic of marriage go. Anthony Bradley's top article generates over 4400 views. Bookmark Anthony Bradley to your Favourites.
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