As marriages go through their ups and downs it is not always as easy to focus on the good times as it is the struggles. We develop expectations of our spouse over time and when we feel let down it typically stands out more than the positive aspects of our relationship. This becomes particularly true in failing marriages. As our daily interactions become more filled with conflict than agreement it can feel as though you are heading down the road to divorce.
The first step in salvaging a troubled marriage is to remind yourself what you are working towards. Take a mental inventory of the positives in your relationship, even if you do not experience them on a daily basis. You need to clearly define what it is about your spouse that made you fall in love in the beginning. When the going gets tough (which it will) you will be able to look back at these positives for inspiration.
Perhaps the toughest part of mending your relationship is confronting the issues. While it is easy to try and ignore you problems in hopes that they will go away, if you don't bring the issues out into the open then it will be difficult to attack them. You can begin this step by simply asking your spouse what changes they would like to see in your lives. Be sure to listen first and be open to their opinions.
Once the source of your problems has been identified, it is time to examine your options. Ask yourself if there are things you can do right now to change your situation. This might include some sacrifices on your part, and you may have to make some difficult decisions. The key is to be willing to act first so that you show your partner how serious you are about fixing things.
There are other important elements to a successful marriage beyond just solving conflict. Romance and passion often gets lost in the daily routine of work and maintaining a household. However, if you are going to save your failing marriage then you have to rebuild the natural attraction between you and your partner. This means coming up with creative ideas for bringing you closer together. Surprise dates, passionate surprises, and even vacations are a great way to reignite these feelings.
The final step in your resolving your differences involves being honest. It can be difficult to communicate with each other when tensions are high, but it is important to stay on the same page. Share your feelings and ideas with your partner through the healing process. Let them know how much they men to you and offer your goals for the future. Honesty is about being open and truthful, and this will help support the trust your spouse has in you.
Saving a failing marriage does take dedication and work, but if you truly love your partner then there is no reason it can't be achieved. By bringing your differences out into the open and making changes to your daily routine, you can effectively break down the barriers between you. If you always remember what you are working towards then the hard times will be much easier to deal with.
How To Save A Failing Marriage
In recent years, marriage has taken on a liberal meaning. Some couples don't go to a priest or a judge to have rites of marriage performed over them - they simply live together as husband and wife. Some couples are not even composed of a husband and a wife in the traditional, conservative sense. In its simplest sense, marriage is a union between two people who promise to love each other no matter what until the end of time. As you may have learned over years of married life, the elements of marriage are not exactly easy to deal it. For example, the term "union between two people" can feel like a bore and a task, especially with the short attention span and polygamous nature of human beings. The term "love each other no matter what" can prove hard, especially with the imperfectness that comes with being human. Finally, the term "until the end of time" can feel impossible, especially with how difficult things have been lately. Making a marriage work takes hard work; finding out how to save a failing marriage takes double the effort.
If you know you're marriage is failing, you need to ask yourself whether or not you want to fix things and save your relationship. Sometimes, divorce can be the best option, especially when there is no more love left in your and/or your partner's heart. However, divorce is not the only option and it's definitely out of the question if you and your partner still care about each other but are just stuck in a rut. The first and most important step you need to take on how to save a failing marriage is marriage counseling.
You may not want to admit this but one of the biggest reasons why you're marriage is failing is lack of communication. Communication is an important ingredient in the success of any relationship. In marriage, communication is the rock upon which all things are built. If you and your spouse are no longer talking - whether you're just skipping out on the serious issues or have stopped talking to and with each other completely - chances are, your marriage will fall apart sooner than you think. Marriage counseling promotes communication and gives you and your spouse a venue for discussing your marital problems. This is the reason why marriage counseling is usually short-term: couples need only one session to get things started and work out their troubles on their own from there. Experts who write articles and publish books on how to save a failing marriage always recommend marriage counseling as a significant part of the road to recovery and healing.
It doesn't stop at marriage counseling. If you really want to know how to save a failing marriage, you must be determined to make your relationship last. Major factors that determine a marriage's happy longevity include mutual respect, trust, faithfulness, commitment, and, above all, love.
Both Elliot Beers & Kelly Purden are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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