The funny guy never gets the girl. That is one of those urban myths, along with bald guys arent sexy and guys do not go for girls with glasses. But as you see bald guys score and meet more and more stunning girls with glasses, you start to see the error in those little high school rules we thought made sense.

Humor has a huge value in social situations to move your relationship from one level to the other. If you have a good grasp of how to use humor and what its value is when socializing and flirting, it can be a powerful tool in your pick-up strategy. Humor is the grease of much of social conversation because ...

It relaxes us. Nothing in the world is as good at making people feel at home with each other than laughter.

It lowers the tension of social contact. Oftentimes we feel tense or awkward when first meeting someone. Humor reduces or eliminates that tension and gives a sensation of familiarity.

It creates a bond. Like eating and drinking and sharing other physical pleasures, laughing together bonds people in a natural, unforced way.

It places you briefly in control. You become the center of the groups attention and, more importantly of his or her attention, and in doing so they look at you in a new way.

The Quip

You are probably better at humor than you may think. Lots of us think, I cant tell jokes. But in truth, the huge majority of working humor is not a joke at all but a humorous observation in the situation that you are in. These little wise cracks or quips are even funnier than jokes because they come spontaneously and as a surprise to your audience.

Rather than discuss individual jokes, lets think together instead about what makes a comment funny and what is funny, and you can then begin looking for ways to apply that to the conversations you are in.

The heart of humor is surprise. Much of what makes us laugh is funny because you are putting a new spin on something or combining two things that do not go together naturally. As you conduct your conversations, look for those moments when a humorous angle on what you are discussing is appropriate. Insert your little quip and gauge the reaction. You will develop your own style and approach to humor that will work for you.

Be understated. Some of the best humor is not over the top, but a sly remark about what is happening, an understatement of what is happening around you. Suppose the waiter dropped all the glasses. Instead of the over the top joke of way to go grace which is worn out and not a surprise, an understatement of the situation such as It is nice he likes to bowl but he should pick his moments, or thats okay, I did not want to drink that anyway will come as a much greater surprise and get a stronger laugh.

Self-deprecation is the best humor. By that we mean, make fun of yourself and be humble. Humor that puts others down is often interpreted as mean and ugly. But humor directed at yourself is charming. It has the opposite effect of making you look small it makes you look secure and confident and those are attractive traits in a person.

Do not use humor too much. Look for those quiet moments to use it. If you get to where you are the guy who is always joking, you will lose the valuable transition to the guy she can talk to intimately and the flirtation value of humor is damaged. Same goes for women. Just use it carefully, from time to time, and to draw you closer to your new romantic interest and it will be a good friend.