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[S119]Save Your Marriage Divorce

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The sad fact is that far too many people wait too long before going for marriage counseling and in most cases it ends up being too late. Counseling has the potential to save marriages, by providing a space in which couples can explore their sources of conflict and arrive at a new understanding of their relationship and with each other. Unfortunately, many people tend to hesitate before going into counseling. For some, counseling may even seem like an admission of failure. That's truly unfortunate, because it's far from true, but that perception can be very influential in peoples decisions.

Timely counseling can save your marriage - if both partners are commited to the marriage and to the counseling process. The time to seek it out is not after all the conflicting damage has been done, and your marriage and home environment are becoming contentious and inhospitable. Rather, the time to take this step is as soon as you notice that problems or issues are coming up for you or your partner, or communication is starting to breaking down.

As mentioned before, for counseling or therapy to be helpful, both partners must be absolutely commited to and desire the process. They must be willing to participate fully, with the intention of improving and saving the marriage by working out their disagreements in a comfortable and safe environment. If one partner has already detatched himself, either mentally or psychologically, the counseling process will be useless and little results will be gained. At that point, individual counseling is usually what is needed, and the chances fo saving the marriage are slimmer although it does come down to the commitment of the person who is undertaking the counseling.

Of course, there are other actions you can take to save your marriage other than just counseling. Some couples are able to do this themselves, without any outside help or intervention. Others get through difficult times with the help of family and friends who are able to offer a different angle or viewpoint to help form a solution to the problems. Some marriages are even helped by individual therapy - not just to help you separate if needed, but to allow you to enter the marriage more fully.

For example, sometimes your negative experiences or problems in a previous relationship can carry over into your present one, or a traumatic event from the past can affect the way you function today. Your marriage might be bearing the strain of these past events. Having the courage to face with and deal with these issues might be what is needed to save your marriage.

Ultimately, it all comes down to your (and your partner's) level of commitment to the marriage and making it work. If both partners are fully commited, they will do anything that is needed to make the marriage work. Usually, that means they will be successful. Most marriages can be saved, and nowadays, we have plenty of resources open to us to help us do so.

All couples want their marital union to last forever. Ideas of break up, separation, and divorce hardly come to their minds. In spite of this desire to be together forever, break ups and divorces do take place. Heart breaks are a harsh reality of life. You might wonder if there is a way to prevent divorce and break up. There sure is a way! However, your marriage will last only if you put in an honest effort to make it last.

Here are 5 time-tested and proven methods of preventing divorce. You will be happy to discover that saving your marriage and preventing divorce is entirely within you power.

1. Good Communication

Most couples end up getting divorced simply because they do not communicate their needs to each other. What do you want out of your relationship? Has it ever occurred to you that if you don't tell your partner what you expect, your partner will find it impossible to meet your expectations?

You must have some quiet time with your partner. Use this time to talk to each other. Speak freely and frankly. Encourage your partner to do the same. Once you know what you expect from each other, you will find it easier to meet each other's expectations.

Good communication is the number one way to avoid marital strife and to build up a harmonious relationship.

2. Accept Your Spouse

Your marriage can end in divorce if your expectations regarding your spouse are unreasonable. While it is alright to have certain expectations, exceptionally high expectations can lead to strife and disappointment.

Many people enter matrimony believing that they can “change” their partner. You can only change yourself, not anybody else. So, if you expect your partner to make major behavioral and lifestyle changes, expect to be disappointed too.

Accepting your spouse for the unique person that he or she is makes more sense and is the key to a happy married life.

3. Go for Couple Counseling

Many people hesitate to go for couple counseling even when they realize that something is seriously wrong with their marriage. You can easily save your marriage and prevent a divorce by taking external help. Counseling does cost money; but it is cheaper than getting a divorce.

4. Rediscover Your Spouse

If you find yourself “falling out of love,” ask yourself what made you fall in love with your spouse in the first place. Recall the dating phase of your relationship. Weren't those the most beautiful days of your life? Those were the days when you were deeply in love with the same person you are now tired of.

The only solution to this problem is to relive the dating phase of your relationship. Do the same things you did for each other during those days. Look good for each other; listen to each other; write love letters to each other, purchase gifts for each other; go on dates together. In short, rediscover each other and fall in love again.

5. Remember that Divorce is Ugly

Divorce is ugly; it can shatter you mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. Moreover, it can have a negative impact on your children. Trying to save your marriage is much easier than getting a divorce.

Being in a relationship is a great gift. Consider yourself blessed to be enjoying this gift. Honor and cherish your spouse and your relationship with each other. Make it one of the most important things in your life. With such an attitude, you will find it difficult to even think of divorce.

Article Source : Massachusetts Marriage

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