Following are some beliefs or thought-forms, which can be very supportive in our effort to cope with the departure of a loved one. If you find any of these helpful, write them down with large letters and place them where you can see them often. Feel free to alter them so that they apply more appropriately to your own specific needs.
You could also make a cassette with such messages to play while in deep relaxation or as you fall asleep. Share these thoughts with others.
1. I am an eternal soul and have the power to live an abundant and meaningful life. All is within me. I feel secure, protected and tranquil.
2. My loved one is an eternal, immortal soul who continues to live in another dimension more beautiful than the one in which I currently exist.
3. Since my loved one is very well and far closer to his or her true divine nature, I can be glad for him/her and can give joy to myself and to those around me.
4. Everything happens according to wise and just divine laws which give us the lessons we need for our spiritual evolution. For some reason, it was best for my loved one to move on to another level of existence and for me continue on here, without him or her.
5. Everyone on this earth has lost loved ones. This is a natural and universal aspect of material existence.
6. The departure of the soul from the restrictions of the temporary physical body is a beautiful liberation from a very limited incarnated state.
7. The loss of my loved one is a great opportunity for spiritual development through the cultivation of inner power, tranquility, security and self-acceptance.
8. I accept the perfection of the Divine Laws, and I release God, myself and all others for any responsibility for what is happening to me.
9. My loved one would want me to be happy and to continue my life creatively and beautifully.
10. I am a pure divine being and deserve unconditional love. I am acceptable, lovable and interesting as I am.
11. The loss of a loved one is not related to guilt or punishment but, is instead, a great opportunity for spiritual development and inner growth.
12. No one can be responsible for someone else's death. Each soul has selected the hour and the place when he or she will leave. Others are simply the instruments we use for our departure.
13. I can, even now, correct my relationship with my loved one with inner communication and prayer.
14. I open myself to my brothers and sisters in the family of humanity who are now sharing this planet. My loved one would want me to do so.
15. I share with others my sorrow and joy.
16. I find meaning in myself and my life by relating, serving, creating and evolving.
17. Life is a divine gift and it is my duty to use it to benefit myself and others.
18. Today, 40,000 parents have lost their children. Tomorrow, another 40.000 parents will lose their children. I am not alone in pain. Departure from the physical body is a natural part of life on earth.
19. There is one universal life force, expressing itself through all beings. The same consciousness that expressed itself through my loved one is now expressing itself through every being around me. When loving and offering to others, I love and offer to him / her.
STEPS WE CAN TAKE
1. We can study the spiritual truths related to the life and death and the relationship between the soul and the body.
2. We can express our feelings openly to those who can respect and understand them, perhaps to a priest, minister, psychologist, spiritual teacher or a good friend.
3. We can pray for our loved ones? development and growth as souls on the dimensions where they are now existing. We can light a candle for them as frequently as we feel the need, sending them light, energy and love.
4. We will gradually need to free ourselves from excessive concentration on those who have left this plane and pay more attention to those who are here with us. It might be best eventually to remove belongings that remind us of him or her. We can give them to charity or to those who need them or would appreciate them.
5. We can occupy ourselves with meaningful activities such as:
a. Service
b. Creativity
c. Evolution - Self knowledge
d. Conscious Love Relationships
6. We need to be patient with ourselves and those around us. Overcoming such a shock usually takes time.
7. We need to cultivate faith in the Divine and in ourselves.
8. We can join a group of people dedicated to the process of growth where we can mutually support each other in this process.
The Loss Of A Loved One
There are very well defined and accepted stages that people go through when they suffer the loss of loved one. Not everyone goes through the stages in the same way or the same order or even may not go through these stages at all. But for the vast majority of people who suffer the loss of a loved one do go through these stages and in this order.
Denial
"Not I, which can not possibly happen to me."
Significant in the phase of denial are feeling shock, disbelief, rigidity and a narcotic out of body feeling. Denial protects the mourners temporarily, until they can start to deal with the loss. One should not try to get through this phase too quickly, denial is a natural phenomenon.
Anger
"Why me?" or "Why my husband / wife my / my child?" are questions that will be asked, often with great anger. Allegations of doctor's fault or blame placed on some totally inappropriate person are also very common. Another direction for this anger is against god or the devil or other non-human often based on the persons own religious beliefs
Guilt
"Why I did not ...?" or "If I had only ..." are questions and accusations which have been used after the loss of a loved on. Sometimes it is easier for people to make accusations than to accept the death.
In some cases, e.g. in a car accident it is often guilt at surviving; this is extremely common for some reason with air disasters. It is under such circumstances often a very long time before people find peace with themselves.
Disorganization
After an initial processing of the person usually breaks into a big flood of emotions including fear, reluctance, doubt, relief, anger and sadness. Each emotion will be quickly overwhelmed by the next. Haggling and negotiating with God is another common effect, trying to cut a deal that will bring the loved one back, even if the person is not at all religious.
Depression
Depression is often the next way a person will deal with this seemingly hopeless situation of the loss, and may fall into a deep "psychological hole,". It usually manifests itself in the form of hopelessness, inertia, apathy, isolation and sadness.
Depression is sadness even though it may be temporary in nature, the duration of such a depression is not set in stone and it is perfectly normal that he or she is depressed for months
Fear
Fear is a normal part of the mourning process, the death may make a person aware of all the threats in the world that seem vastly magnified. We all have fears but in this situation the line between real and unrealistic fears is so blurred it can not be distinguished by the bereaved.
Acceptance
After much great despair and inner struggles most people finally accept the reality of the death of a loved one, so that the healing process can begin. It finally opens up new possibilities; one sees light at the end of the tunnel. Life is no longer quite so bleak, there is some new hope.
Both Robert Elias Najemy & Beth Thompson are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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