Everyone deals with the difficulties in their lives in variety of ways. People diagnosed with a chronic illness may put on a happy face and intentionally decide they will use this as an opportunity, doing their best to overcome any limitations it brings. Other people will drive home from the physician's office worried about how much longer they will be able to drive because of the depth of the pain. They'll lie down on the couch and rarely leave it for years. Why is it that some people thrive even though they have a chronic illness and other people simply survive, even using it as an excuse for anything that goes wrong in their life?

People who live with an illness and still radiate happiness and joyfulness for life have some things in common. None of us cope with our illness perfectly, so even if we tend to deal with it well, there is likely a tip below that we could use to improve our outlook on life.

People who live with an illness and who still are happy tend to have he following things in common:

[1] They maintain hope. We've found through research that people who have hope actually recover from surgery faster than those who have less hope. Hope is fundamental and a basic step in finding contentment despite our situation. The 2006 theme of National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week was "My illness is invisible but my hope shines through." This is an attitude we should all have.

[2] They persevere. It's no secret that living with chronic pain is. . .painful! Physically, emotionally, and spiritually it can zap our strength and spirit. Typically, our health is one of the main foundations we count on in order to have a change to conquer those dreams. Chronically ill people who are happy have learned how to continue to aim high for their dreams, or to reevaluate their dreams and create new ones. Sometimes the new goals are even more taxing that the original ones, but passion pushes them forward.

[3] They are good advocates of their own health. Paul J. Donoghue and Mary E. Siegel, authors of "Sick and Tired of Feeling Sick and Tired," write "Getting this help in a consistently satisfying manner is as essential as it is challenging. You will need perseverance, courage and skill. You will need to understand your needs and be committed to getting them" (p. 160). People who take part in the decision making process on the topic of their care and treatment, and who actively hunt for out doctors who will partner with them, are more happy than those who feel out of control. For example, if it's one's desire to have children it's important to have a medical team that will understand this desire and provide good treatment even if they don't agree with your decision, rather than reprimand you by giving you poor care.

[4] People who are happy don't claim the victim role, in fact, they tend to ask, "Why not me?" rather than "Why me?" To fashion this attitude may take effort if it doesn't come naturally. But a lot of these people get involved in different organizations that serve people. And when one is around others who live with illness, cancer, or who have left abusive homes, they quickly understand that this world is not a perfect place. When things are going pretty well in their lives, they recognize it as a blessing, not a right.

[5] They understand who they are and so aren't overly sensitive, taking other's comments too personally. If one has a strong faith this can make everything much simpler because one understands her value and worth as a person doesn't count on what she can accomplish with her physical strength. She learns what she is accountable for (like an attitude) and not (like an infection that keeps returning). This can help keep away unnecessary guilt for things out of her power.

[6] They communicate adeptly. Being able to talk with others, explain your feelings, learning to listen effectively, and watching your words carefully, can help you avoid a lot of troubles. Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and arguments can affect your whole life and your body's capacity to cope with an illness. One must learn to manage bitterness and focus on healthy relationships. Happy people with illness are good at understanding when to talk about their illness and how much to share about their personal lives.

[7] They genuinely care about other people. No one wants to get a chronic illness to receive that "education in life" but people who are happy allow their experiences to be a gift of knowledge. They can share struggles and successes with others. They are able to use their experiences as a way to help a friend or become a mentor. To truly find happiness, we must look outside of ourselves and reach out to other people.

Author J.K. Rowling once said, "It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." This quote is never more applicable than to those who live with chronic pain each day.