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I Dont Want Your Life
Kate Loving Shenk
This is a common mantra heard because of the fast paced American life style.
I hear nurses say this all the time.
Recently, this one liner: I have too much to do, surfaced with my round robin partner at Byron Katie International.
We first worked through the one liner: The American Health Care System won't take care of me when I'm old.
The we worked through the one liner: I have too much to do, I don't know where to begin.
My new friend was voicing fears I have as well as my issue raising fears within her.
We find when we do "The Work" of Byron Katie with others, we are also doing the work for ourselves.
Byron Katie's "The Work" is a process where a "problem" is scrutinized with Inquiry, or a series of questions, that puts the responsibility right back where it belongs--inside yourself.
The 4 questions of Byron Katie's "The Work"
1) Is it true?
2) Can you absolutely know for sure that it's true?
3) How do you react when you think that thought?
4) Who would I be without that thought?
---and turn it around---
I began with: I have too much to do, I don't know where to begin.
Is this true?
It sure feels like it.
Can you absolutely know for sure that it's true?
No, not really.
How do you react when you think the thought: I have too much to do, I don't know where to begin.
I feel like the Mad hatter in Alice and Wonderland who said over and over: I'm late, I'm late for a very important date!!!
I become abrupt with acquaintances I meet spontaneously in public places.
I probably sound irritable when I answer the phone because I am hell bent on plans to accomplish my goals.
Where does the feeling hit you, where do you feel it in your body when you think the thought: I have too much to do, I don't know where to begin?
I feel it in my whole body, in every cell like I am on overdrive, like I want to lash out and plow down what ever is in front of me.
How do you treat yourself when you think the thought: I have to much to do, I don't know where to begin?
I don't take the time to rest or meditate.
I never take naps! They are totally opposed to my over-achievement agenda. I feel like I am living my parents expectations of me as a child; to be the best, to be the smartest, to be the best doer in the world. (To be is out of the equation).
How have you lived your life because you believe the thought: I have too much to do, I don't where to begin.
I'm in over drive as if I am in a movie that's is fast forwarded to the speed of light.
I feel as if life is going by too fast. I feel as if I am on a treadmill that is going so fast that if I don't jump off, I'll probably kill myself, or at best, break a few bones.
Does this belief bring peace or stress into your life?
It definitely brings stress.
Who would you be without the thought: I have too much to do, I don't know where to begin?
I'd purposely slow down.
I'd notice the green grass, the blue sky, the clouds, the rain and the wind.
I'd throw away my watch and contemplate the meaning of "time."
I'd go on a spiritual retreat.
I'd take relaxing baths with candle light and beautiful smells permeating the steamy atmosphere.
I would purposely love my life, and all the people, creatures, rocks and flowers that I see, today.
I'll meditate on the phrase: Today is the first day of the rest of my life, knowing authentically that at any given moment, I can begin again.
At any moment, I can Let Go/Let God.
Turn it around?
I don't have too much to do. I do know where to begin.
There's too little to do. I don't have to begin.
My energy recharges with thoughts that nourish. My energy nourishes when I don't think! and when I take the time "to be" as opposed "to do."
Too much restless thinking creates the thought: I have too much to do, I don't know where to begin.
I now know that doing is not the same as thinking that I have to do.
When I think the stressful thought that my to do list is growing longer and longer, I get into a panicked state of mind.
My stressful thoughts about what I have to do are the culprit.
Living in the NOW is the antidote to this and all stressful thoughts.
I feel and live the peace that arises with every step and every breath I take.
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