It's a fine line to the untrained eye. But ultimately the difference between confidence and arrogance is one of attitude. An arrogant man secretly loathes himself. And if you loathe yourself, what are you gonna think about a woman who likes you? You're gonna have to figure she either has some ulterior motivation, or else she's just plain stupid. A confident man, on the other hand, genuinely likes himself and thus is able to respect the women who have the good taste to like him too. In other words, a confident man is the kind of man that the arrogant man pretends to be (and wishes he was).

Try this one (but only if you like yourself): The next time you're talking to a woman you find attractive, instead of trying desperately to please her, take a time out. Smile, pause, look her straight in the eye, and tell her: "Look, I'm hip to your little secret so why don't we just get this out in the open? You're madly in love with me - I know it ?cause I can see it in your eyes." Wait at least another second before breaking off eye contact.

If she frowns and walks away, great - it'll give you some practice in "not giving a flip" - which, when fully developed, is a very attractive attitude. Just stay happy and go on about your business. Believe me, she'll remember you, because it's probably the first time in her life anyone's ever been gutsy enough to say something like that to her. And by the way, it doesn't matter a bit if she doesn't really even like you. She will now, whether she lets you know right away or not.

If, on the other hand, she protests, then the trick is to remain unflappable:

She: "You need to see a doctor about your delusions. I haven't even noticed you!"

You: "OK, OK, I think we can get through this. You see, the first stage is called ?denial?. Then there's ?bargaining?, ?anger?, and finally stage four, which is ?acceptance?. So can we just skip the first three stages and get to the truth here? Just accept it."

or:

"Hey, it's not my fault that you cry yourself to sleep every night over me. I'm SORRY - really, I didn't mean to turn you on."

The more attractive she is, the better this will work - because extremely attractive women are SICK of men who grovel for them. By the way, if the next thing she does is start flirting with another guy right in front of your face, take heart - what that usually means is "I can't believe anyone could be that gutsy. Let's see just how confident you REALLY are."

Remember - YOU'RE the one who decides how much you're worth. There's no way she could possibly know, and so ultimately she's got only one thing to go on - how much she believes you're worth is how much you believe you're worth. Not how much you say you're worth, but how much you believe it. And an act of incredible audacity will demonstrate this belief more than just about anything you could do (short of risking your life on her behalf).

P.S. By the way, Sarah, I know you're been reading this, which PROVES you love me! (wink!)

OK, OK, maybe you don't know it yet, but it's..it's unconscious love!. Yeah, yeah, that must be it...