It's appalling sometimes how bad people's manners are. This includes kids-but it's not limited to them. We also see adults who are rude and inconsiderate in their everyday dealings with other people. But there are also adults and kids out there who are courteous and polite, who treat others with respect even in difficult circumstances. What is the difference between these two groups? In most cases, the difference is that parents either taught them or didn't teach them manners at home.

Manners begin at their fundamental level with "please" and "thank you." Here are some tips on how to teach children these habits of courtesy.

1. Begin early. We say all sorts of things to babies because we know that some day they will understand and absorb what we say. Include please and thank you in your baby talk. When they start to mimic your words and sounds, teach them these words again. Before you hand them the sippy cup or the cookie, instruct them, "Say please!" When they get it, instruct them, "Say thank you!" Keep your instructions light and cheerful. Their imitation will be imperfect, of course, but that doesn't matter. You are teaching them early on to tie please to asking and thank you to receiving.

2. Remind them-a lot. We can't just tell them to say please once when they're two and expect them to remember it for all time. As they grow, even up to the early teen years, prompt them with, "Is that how we ask for something?" and "What do you say?" Again, keep it light nd cheerful, not critical. It doesn't hurt to put in extra reminders for places where manners will be especially important-Don't forget to tell Grandma thank you for your present, even if you don't like it."

3. Praise, praise, praise. Always look for a chance to catch them being good, and that includes something simple and expected like saying please and thank you. The more approval they get, the more you reinforce good behavior.

4. Say it to them. Children should also be treated with courtesy-in part because they are people, and in part because it demonstrates how much nicer it feels to be treated well. And if we're polite to strangers, how much more should we be polite to those who live with us? "Jojo, would you please get a towel and dry these dishes," works so much better than, "Jojo, get your butt in here and dry these dishes!" At least the first time or two.

5. Model it. Abraham Lincoln once said, "There is but one way to teach a child the way he should go, and that is to travel that way yourself." How can you expect to have polite children if you yourself treat others with rudeness and thoughtlessness? Let them see you saying please and thank you to store clerks, phone callers, your spouse, and others. They are watching, believe me.