Relationships end for many different reasons and occasionally those reasons lose their validity after time has gone by. People can outgrow certain habits or work on flaws that they knew to cause real problems with their partners. Understanding why a relationship ended and sorting out those problems is a very important step before attempting to win back an ex's affection and can often help to create a renewed sense of enthusiasm for the relationship. For those who are ready to try winning back the heart of their lost love it can be difficult to know where to begin. Only you can predict what unique and personal ideas will appeal to your specific ex, however many people gravitate toward some of the same behaviors and feelings; these can be used to your advantage if you understand what has a good chance of getting your ex's attention:

?Carefree: Acting in a way that comes across as needy or desperate is very unattractive to most people. While being needed by another person can create a sense of comfort, when it comes to breakups, most people do not want to feel that their ex is still clinging to an ended relationship. Be sure to gain some real confidence and adopt an attitude that shows that with or without your ex you're going to be just fine. This appearance of not needing your ex for emotional comfort can help to create some curiosity on their end, which may prove useful in getting some attention your way.

?New Look: Because how you look will most likely be one of the first things your ex notices about you should the two of you bump into each other, it is very important that you try to look your best. For some people, maintaining their current appearance is enough to remind their ex about what they might be missing physically, but nothing says I have moved on like a new look that is unfamiliar to your ex and might gain some interest. Changing your hair style or perhaps some of your wardrobe can help to show your ex that you are your own person and will move forward despite a possibly painful breakup. This change, although physical, shows that you are capable of altering your life and in many cases this may have been part of the reason you split up in the first place.

?Memories: While a new look or attitude may be required to get some attention tossed your way don't forget that you probably share many happy memories with your ex. Using anything from your shared past that can serve as a reminder of the good times you once shared can be helpful when trying to win a person back. Though you may have had problems in your relationship, you also more than likely had some truly special moments that might have some physical evidence that can be presented, casually, thus reminding your ex of what could be possible again. Souvenirs such as shirts or hats can be a great way to subtly remind a person of a good memory; remember not to be obvious about your intention, allow your ex to bring up the past if they choose to, otherwise you may end up just looking desperate.

? Hard to Get: As ridiculous as it may seem to you, playing a little bit of a part might be necessary just to gain the interest of your ex. Part of this act includes, as previously mentioned, acting confident; this leads directly into making sure that your ex is led to believe that they could not get you back. While going overboard on this may cause your ex to lose interest, acting a little on the elusive side can be very helpful. A classic trait of human behavior is that most people want what they can't have; if you can become this prize in your ex's eyes it may help in allowing a second chance.

?You Don't Know Me: Developing new interests in your life can also make a very clear statement to your ex and one that can be very attractive: I have moved on. New hobbies or classes; employment or even new friends can create a new section of your life that your ex knows nothing, or little about. This will help to peak your ex's curiosity while sending the message that you have survived the loss and perhaps that your ex underestimated your strength. A pleasant side-effect of trying new things can be that you forget your ex entirely and really do move past wanting them back; or in some cases, you truly develop stronger parts of your own individuality which can make you very attractive, not only to your ex, but to many new people that you might meet along the way.

?Jealousy: A dangerous game to play as more often than not one of the people involved end up getting their feelings hurt, jealousy is never the less a tool that has proved useful throughout the ages. Though you may not actually want to go to the extent of dating a new person you can show your ex that others are interested in you by flirting a little with other men in their presence. This can easily backfire if you aren't careful and should perhaps only be used as a last resort as most people have difficulty not making their true intentions obvious. If using this strategy you must keep in mind that if your ex suspects that you are only flirting with other men as a way of getting their attention the tactic becomes useless as it now only appears very desperate. On the other hand, if you should happen to make friends with a man, or men, that could be potential suitors if not for your heart belonging elsewhere, this may at least provide you with a way to raise your ex's suspicions without being forced to use anyone and possibly hurt them in the process.

?Mystery: As tempting as it might be if you and your ex share a moment together, it is best to keep a great deal of mystery between the two of you. Sharing too many details can deflate the attraction and curiosity that you have been building while apart; until your ex shows real confirmation that they want you back you may be forced to keep them somewhat in the dark about what you do on your own time. To completely ignore your ex can work in some situations, but you may need to give them just enough attention to keep them interested before your mysteriously vanish again. When in doubt, try to treat your ex as you would an interesting stranger: never say too much, but a flirtatious smile, or glance, is acceptable.

?Solve the Problem: Perhaps the most important part of attracting an ex is showing them that you have solved any problems that they had with your relationship, at least any that you were able to solve on your own. The best way to go about this is to genuinely work on any personality flaws that you agree intruded upon your past. If you choose to show your ex that you have worked on your flaws, without actually having done the work, this may prove disastrous as soon enough they will discover your deception. Above all, if you want to win your ex's heart, you must know what went wrong the first time around. If any of the problems that plagued your relationship are those that you can take responsibility for, it is best to solve them before you attempt a second try. More than anything else you can do this difficult transformation of self improvement may show them how deeply you feel and that you understand their point of view.

When making an attempt to get back the guy who got away remember to use as few deceptions as possible as this will not lead to a healthy relationship later on. Knowing what special qualities you have to share and remaining confident are very important steps; carefully balancing the memories of your old life with new and interesting ones that can peek curiosity are also very important. In the end, whether or not you are able to get a chance at starting over, if you follow some of these steps you will more than likely find that ex or no ex, you are a happier person who only ever needed to take a deep breath and move on to a new life.