Ever been talking with a woman, the conversation is rolling along, you are both laughing and enjoying yourselves and then out of nowhere, the conversation begins sinking faster than the Titanic!? It begins as a numb feeling in the pit of your stomach which works its way up your head. Everything you think to say seems "wrong" as self-doubt has now taken over. The conversation has taken a detour to the point of no return. You just blew your chances and are left wondering, what just happened?
This situation usually concludes with an awkward silence, and her unforgettable words "well, I guess I better get back to my friends."
Truthfully, this disaster might not have been your fault. You might have been saying and doing all the right things. It could be that she suddenly: got tired, needed to go to the bathroom, remembered that she left the stove on, or that final ill-fated beer made it to her head ? hard to say my friend.
What we like to focus on is having a plan. We teach this in our programs and products. And when a guy has a plan, he then becomes responsible for driving the conversation towards the goal of getting a phone number, date, etc... A plan is no guarantee for success, as anything can happen in the jungle of socializing. But at no point can you risk allowing the conversation to turn negative or boring. Be aware of when things start to turn sour and then get the interaction back on track FAST.
The basic idea is to stop the current thread of conversation and quickly say or do something which swiftly takes you to higher ground. Here are some examples, and these have been TESTED and definitely work:
1. Say out of nowhere: "Oh! That reminds me of (recent movie) (anything)"
Even if the topic at hand doesn't remind you of ... it doesn't matter, just lead into a different topic.
2. Make a general observation of your surroundings: "Hey, this song reminds me of my old high school dances. Remember the funny outfits people used to wear?"
Don't acknowledge the previous topic, but move the conversation quickly to something else where you are likely to share something in common.
3. My friend Neil likes to use: "It just hit me, do you know who you look like?"
What better topic to continue with than to talk about her.
4. Change locations: "I love the view from the windows here ? ever seen it? You gotta see the rooftops in this neighborhood ? incredible."
Gesture for her to follow you, and lead her to the windows ? just be sure you know what you are talking about! This line won't work in the middle of the country.
Ultimately, if you find yourself in the situation of "the sinking conversation", you are now armed with three surefire ways to buy yourself more time. Remember these and use them. I assure you they have saved me many times in the past.
