Most people dread having to tell a person that their relationship has to end; many people experience feelings of guilt and confusion which can make having the discussion a very difficult experience. The realization that you must end a relationship isn't often a straight forward and clear cut one; many times people will go back and forth about the pro's and con's of bringing their relationship to an end.

Along with the many frustrating emotions comes the knowledge that the other person will probably feel even worse than you do. Many people struggle with just how to break such awful news in the least painful way while still getting the message clearly across.

Before you face the discussion it can be helpful to try and predict how the person you are about to let go of will react. One clich? is to break it off in a public place so that the other party will be less likely to cause a scene; this is cruel for most people as it restricts their emotional outlet and should only be used in the most desperate of situations. Unfortunately, in most cases, there will be little that you are able to do to comfort the other person; they may even become angry or upset with you. Always make sure that you are never in any physical danger and if you suspect this may become a problem during your discussion it may be best not to speak face-to-face.

When choosing a place to let your partner know that it's over be sure that you will both be free to speak you r minds. Though in many cases if communication wasn't a problem this might not be happening; you will still want the ability to try your best. Food and drinks should be available, unless you feel that they might be used as a weapon and if you or your partner smoke be sure that the environment allows for it as it will most likely be a very stressful time.

Many people try to use statements that are generalized and non-specific because they are frustrated and see little or no point in getting into an argument at the end of the relationship. Understand that if you try, just one last time, to explain your point of view to your partner you may at least be leaving them with knowledge that can help in future relationships. In some cases it may require you leaving for your partner to understand and change something about themselves, but by allowing them a chance to understand you truly have tried your best.

Though many people feel guilty when ending a relationship it is important to remember that not all people are compatible and for this alone you cannot hold yourself responsible. If during the course of your relationship you recognize that there were things that you could have done differently to make it strong you might consider telling your partner so. Allowing the other person to understand that you have no desire to keep trying can often be painful to hear, but to also know that you are willing to share your own mistakes can ease the pain a little.

After choosing an appropriate location; reflecting on your own mistakes (if any) and keeping in mind any points you would like to make known to your partner you will probably be ready to set a time and day for the talk. Try to avoid making this a time when either you or your partner will be hurried, or before anything that will require concentration, such as work; instead choose a time when you can both be relaxed and have ample time afterward to recover from your discussion. Choosing a time when you are tired will often cause you to be more frustrated than is necessary, so if possible make sure that you are both awake and clear minded.

Now that you have prepared and are ready to speak, how do you go about it? Despite being ready to end it you may still have deep feelings for the person sitting opposite you and it may be very difficult to say anything that you know will hurt them. Remember that to keep the relationship going under such circumstances would be doing that person more of an injustice and that if you truly care about them you are responsible for being honest about your feelings. It may be of some help to write down the key points you hope to cover during your discussion should you become too emotional to remember.

How to Begin:

?Make sure both you and your partner are both comfortable

?Leave a reasonable amount of space between you and your partner; this may help to send a clearer signal of how you feel.

?Try not to mislead your partner by making the discussion seem anything that it isn't; avoid this by not choosing any places or clothing that sends the wrong message.

?Though it can be tempting to ease into your breaking it off by explaining your feelings, your partner will most likely be feeling edgy and stressed out so you may want to let them know right away that you feel it is time to end it. After your partner hears this they may decide they have no wish to hear your reasons and if this is the case you must allow them to express their feelings.

?If the situation allows, explain how you arrived at this decision and take responsibility for anything that you feel you are at fault for.

?If your partner becomes too irrational; (e.g.: yelling or throwing things) simply tell them that though you would like to discuss the issues with them you cannot do so while they are feeling this upset. In most cases you are an inappropriate choice for comforting your partner, though it can be difficult to walk away, you must do so as currently, you are the cause of their pain.

?Depending upon whether or not you hope to remain friends with your partner you may choose to reassure them of you friendship, but again, you will unlikely be the best person to help them through this painful time.

?Once you feel that you and your partner have both had enough time to express your feelings and that your decision is clear, leave. You must give your partner a chance to recover from the shock and confusion of this news and your presence will not help this healing process. If you choose to stay, you will in all likelihood send the wrong message and possibly give false hope of reconciliation to your partner.

?If you feel that you are able to, make sure that your partner has some one that they trust to talk with after you go, although this must be their decision you can offer to call someone for them.

?Once you have reached a point where you are ready to leave, make sure that you do not leave anything behind that you will need in the immediate future as it may be sometime before your interaction with your partner does not cause one, or both of you, pain.

Once you have finished your discussion and left your partner to begin the healing process you may have very mixed feelings on the entire matter. Clearing your head can often be useful when such conflicting emotions are likely to be running through you. If you can go out with a friend and have a little fun this may prove to be just the activity to help you move forward; be careful not to over compensate for your mixed emotions by acting in an irresponsible or dangerous way, you will likely regret this soon after. In the end, if you tried to be patient and understanding of your partner's feelings you need feel no guilt for what had to be done. When in relationships you can only succeed if our best is enough for the other person, sometimes it is not and you must part ways. The only reason to feel guilt is if you know you didn't try to best the person that you could be and even if this is case, what you may have learned through this experience is that you want to and can be in the future.