Ever had dinner with a friend and just wanted to slap them around the head because they were talking doo-doo about themselves and their life? Well, that happened to me the other night.
I met up with a friend from way back whom I hadn't seen for ages. A friend who's been knocked down more than she's stood up over the past 15 years or so.
Yeah... life can be tough. And we can make it even tougher by the choices we make about our circumstances. Think of Nelson Mandela and how he put over 20 years' incarceration and attempted humiliation to excellent use.
Anyhow, I heard her making herself small, I heard her talk about how beaten down she'd been, how she wanted to change things and 'can't' find her way forward... and her latest idea for money making that was as good as selling match-sticks.
Her voice droned on and on, lack-lustre, mono-tone and lifeless. And the phrase that really got me was, "Something will turn up."
Well that was it... I let her have it with both barrels! First, the language of defeat she was using that would guarantee programming her brain for failure. Next, the people she hung out with, negative themselves and only too happy for someone else to mess-up so as not to have to look at their own messes. And then one of my favourites...
The famously infamous BUT!
"I am interested in this but I don't have the resources that I need."
Does it sound like you're going to go ahead with the project??! Now...
"I am interested in this and I don't have the resources that I need."
So, the next question is, "Well, how can I get them?" Using 'and' creates possibility. While you might not have the resources now you could go out and find them, learn them, buy them in.
A 'BUT' WIPES AWAY EVERYTHING GOOD BEFORE IT!
A 'BUT' STOPS YOU GETTNG OFF YOUR BUTT AND DOING SOMETHING!
And, with the help of my unique 30 Minute's PinPoint Coaching™ over the dinner table, my friend left knowing what to do to move successfully forward and how to do it. A note-book in her bag had become her 'business development' planner. She'd even plotted her first few baby steps forward, one step slowly and surely in front of the other.
Hey... anywhere in your life where you're waiting for inspiration, where you need to go after it with a 'club' to inspire your 'but' and get off your 'butt'?!? Then use these sure-fired to succeed tips...
#1 Define precisely what the situation is and write it down. Talking abstractly or vaguely about it is a very good way to do nothing about it.
#2 Monitor how you talk about the situation. What's your defeating language? Where do you use 'but' to keep yourself stuck?
#3 Change 'but' to 'and' and your language generally to possibility talk... can, will, could, will do, can do... and watch how your energy level and motivation rises.
#4 Create a 'project planner' notebook and write down exactly how you want things to be on the first page (instead of the situation that you don't want). In this way, you're programming your brain in a forward instead of backward direction.
#5 Over a week or so reflect on how you could achieve what you want, jotting down thoughts as they come. And they do come... often in the most bizarre moments like sitting on the loo.
