Let's face it. The battle of the sexes has not answered any questions. If anything, we're more baffled about the workings of the opposite sex than ever. It's no wonder why dating and relationships are such tedious exercises. Each expects too much from the other, leading to disappointment and ultimately, disaster.

Is there such a thing as a perfect man? This is a question foremost in most single women's minds. After years of searching, most women have come to the conclusion that there isn't. There are those lucky enough, however, to have found a man close enough to perfection and definitely mate-worthy. These men dress right, have good hygiene, and keep great jobs. They are stable in every possible way – financially, emotionally, and mentally. If you do manage to snag one of these rare species, do your best to keep him. Chances are it'll be awhile before you find another, or worse, never.

How do you know when you've found a keeper? Men are a strange bunch and most women can't tell right away that they've found the cream of the crop. Some women will tell you to look at the teeth. If they're too perfect or too flawed, dump him. A man who is forever-and-ever material supposedly has teeth that are just right.

Short of prying open every one of your date's mouths, there are, of course, better ways to know if a man is a keeper. Over the years, women have accumulated intelligence on how to tell, ranging from finding out about his past relationships to whether he has a Swiss Army knife, the latter being a very effective determinant. If your man owns a Swiss Army knife and actually knows how to use it, start looking for wedding dresses.

So what's all the fuss about a Swiss Army knife? It's quite simple, really. A Swiss Army knife symbolizes responsibility and readiness, meaning a man is responsible enough to take care of a family and might be quite ready for matrimony. You've just found yourself a Boy Scout – always prepared. A Swiss Army knife is also a beacon of masculinity and maturity. You'll never have to wonder if he bats for the other team, or if you have a big baby under your care.

Of course, the man's Swiss Army knife has to be more than for show. He has to know what each of those steel blades are for and must have used each of them at least once. After all, anyone can own a Swiss Army knife, but very few actually know the merits of owning such a tool.

Indeed, finding the perfect (or almost perfect) man is a task almost as gargantuan as finding the Holy Grail, especially in this day and age when nobody believes in destiny anymore. There isn't always somebody for someone, only for a select few. Not everyone believes in happy-ever-after anymore, only that it's happy right now. But if you believe with all your heart that The One exists for you somewhere, chances are he is.