These are moments that are played over and over again in our minds day and night and are the subject of countless love poems. Nothing ever seems to be less than perfect and you just know your new boyfriend or girlfriend feels the same way about you, too – adrift in love! You two may talk and laugh for hours into the wee hours of the night about all kinds of things just to wake up in the same bewitching love-fog and repeat it all, and again and again. Then gradually, usually after two or three months, thing seem a little different, a little more difficult and a little more forced. For the first time you may even question your own feelings for your Prince Charming or he for you, and confusion and lots of questions stream into your consciousness. Some people bolt about this time, only to repeat another chapter of the same book with a new love and have many serially-monogamous, yet brief, relationships over the course of their lifetimes.
What's going on, anyhow?
Stage One - the ‘giddy' stage of new love described above - is a time when we our bodies are pumping out large amounts of love-locking chemicals that keep both our love interest and energy level/libido strong. Stage Two of dating can seem like a cruel twist, and is often referred to as the uncertain phase. During this period, lovers regain their logic and actually start to think again! They start to focus more on their partner's true traits rather than their fantasy ones, and, if they don't become too disenchanted and leave, start to size their boyfriend/girlfriend up as a suitable exclusive partner.
It takes time to really get to know someone and Stage Two can't be pushed, hurried, or ignored. Many couples who marry in Phase One during a weekend in Las Vegas return a second time to untie the knot once they're out of the fog. (“What was I thinking” may be their new mantra!) Unfortunately, many singles become confused during Phase Two, thinking that Phase One should last forever and that they must not have met the right person yet. They may even sabotage the relationship and/or leave before giving the relationship a chance.
Phase Two is an extremely important phase and, while not as fun as Phase One, is necessary before longterm commitments should be made to ensure compatibility in all the right ways. In Phase One, you probably just assume you both like the same kind of vacations, both want those two kids and a white picket fence, and of course, Christmas with your side of the family!
Take time to slowly get to know each other. The rewards are great!
