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The Art Of Forgiveness
Karin Marcus
It seems we have become a nation that honors the human doers and forgotten the value of simply being humanly present. We fear that if we are not accomplishing something every minute, we are wasting our time. We no longer wrestle with "To be or not to be," but are constantly consumed with "To do or not to do." Recently, I came across a wonderful twist to another old saying:"Don't just do something, stand there!"
Often in tumultuous times, the wisest thing is to be still. Instead of jumping into the fray, become grounded and quiet. We don't need to always fix or change things or take action just for the sake of doing something. Every action does not require a re-action. Sometimes it is more important to just acknowledge what is.
If someone is suffering from illness or loss, the greatest gift you can offer is your compassionate total presence. A dear friend was very ill. At first I kept offering sympathetic platitudes such as," You'll feel better tomorrow" or "It could be much worse." Until finally I realized she just wanted someone to hold her hand and be present with her in her pain. An even more powerful experience is being fully present with someone facing imminent death. To be a witness to that journey is a deeply, heartfelt act of love.
As a parent, when we see our children struggling with peer pressures and society's expectations, the best help we can give them is the comforting knowledge that we will always be there for them. The same is true when friends share their troubles. Often they are not seeking our advice, they just want someone to witness their struggle and stand by them.
Nothing is as profoundly healing as a fully present compassionate human being. Consciously being is the most valuable act of kindness, empathy, and respect we can give one another. Learning to BE is an art form not a science. It is the most intrinsic form of personal expression there is, for it encapsulates the essence of who you are.
So how can you cultivate the Art of Being? Here are a few simple tips:
- Slow down and breathe!! Become consciously aware of each breath. Your inhalation and exhalation is the most fundamental process through which you intermingle with the universe. When you want to connect with your true being, try placing your hands on your heart and feeling each breath as it gently comes and goes.
- Become a wise observer. Stop and listen with your whole being, engaging all your senses. Notice the finer details of what you are seeing, hearing, sensing, and smelling. Then after consciously looking through the zoom lens, slowly draw the lens back to gain an ever widening perspective. Now call upon all your senses again, this time to observe the big picture in all its glory
- Embrace the present moment. Purposefully, let go of all preconceived notions and judgments. Drop the 'should have's' and the 'could have's' and the 'if only's.' Choose to truly accept what is. Acknowledging that on some level, perhaps beyond your comprehension, everything is as it is meant to be.
- Allow the possibilities to unfold. We don't have to be the primary catalyst for solutions. That is a drastically limiting belief. We need only to hold the space and allow the answers to reveal themselves. Fully being present opens the door for intuition, synchronicity, and grace. The horizon of possibilities is far broader than our minds can conceive; we need only to be open and ready to receive.
So remember, "Don't just do something, stand there and BE!"
Copyright (c) 2008 Karin Marcus
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