In developing a solid self-esteem it is imperative that we grow to love ourselves unconditionally. This means that we love our thoughts - the good ones and the bad ones, we love our emotions - the ecstatic ones and the ones that teach us to honour our feelings, and we love our physical being - in all its beauty and glory - regardless our of size or age.

Here are some ways that you can grow in love with yourself, unconditionally in these areas:

Loving your thoughts: at some point it is necessary for us to consciously monitor our thoughts; not to judge them but rather to become aware of them. They drive our actions, or inactions - whatever the particular thought would need to manifest itself as our reality. It is especially important to become aware of limiting, outmoded thoughts. One question that is helpful to ask ourselves is this: "What would I have to be thinking in order for this circumstance, issue problem to be my reality?"

Once you have an idea of what your thoughts are and what your paradigms are made up of and also what beliefs make-up those thoughts you can work to change them To change any thought or belief you must first accept it, and then love it as you would a dear friend. Consider how it has helped you even if that help has resulted in less than desirable outcomes. The gift is in seeing how we thought certain things; expecting positive outcomes without seeing the limitations that existed in truth behind the thought.

Secondly, write the thought or thoughts on a piece of paper. On a second sheet of paper write new, more life affirming thoughts and repeat these to yourself several times a day until they form your new consciousness. As a final step, and to solidify letting go of the old, burn the paper with all of your self-defeating thoughts and beliefs.

Loving your emotions: our emotions, when left to fester become intertwined with our thoughts and give them the fuel to create in appropriate actions and behaviours. As a female Pisces, I am highly emotional and becoming spiritually emotionally strong has been a real challenge yet a great sense of joy for me, in its accomplishment. Loving our emotions unconditionally requires us to be brutally honest with ourselves about how we feel in all circumstances. When we feel angry, painful emotions we need to honour them and get to the root of their cause. Anger and pain are often an indication that something needs to change. Healthy expression of our anger is essential in releasing it. I have learned the fine art of screaming into pillows. Another great exercise is to bat pillows, write your feelings out on paper and burn it to release it.

Love and respect your emotions; they are your guide to what's working in your life or not. Be willing to understand the cause of your emotion and change anything that is toxic, abusive or unhealthy in any way.

If you're constantly caught up in feelings of guilt, forgive yourself.

If you're constantly caught up in feelings of resentment, forgive the person you resent.

If you're constantly angry, be brave enough to change that which angers you.

If you are constantly worried, seek to take a "healthy concerned" approach to your life.

Most of all, seek to feel the joy, the peace, the love and the beauty that comes from within by claiming it and by becoming more connected to your soul. Your soul is a direct link to your higher emotions that are your birthright to feel and express.

Loving your body: our bodies are of our creation, before we were ever born. Whatever we seem to dislike about our bodies and our health are present for the sole purpose that we learn to love it, just as it is now. You cannot change anything about your physical being without loving it first and sometimes we simply have accept and love that which we cannot change, such as our age, our height and our body type, etc.

There are a few things you can do to assist you in their love and acceptance of your body, or parts of your body, that you are struggling with.

Put your hands on the part of you that you are dissatisfied with and simply breathe into it. Breathe deeply for about two or three minutes, allowing yourself the freedom from thoughts that come up as you do. Simply allow the thoughts and feelings to pass, and keep breathing into that area. Eventually you will come to a place of peace through your breathing and you will realize that it was only your thoughts and feelings that distorted your view of your body.

Flaunt the fabulous. Play up the physical aspects of yourself that you do accept and love fully. This will serve to enhance your self-image and attitude about your appearance.

Smile. Nothing looks more beautiful than an authentic smile.

Basically you are the only one who can love yourself unconditionally; at least in the beginning. As you grow to love yourself, others will too!

Copyright (c) 2008 Dawn McIntyre