What do you do when kids fight? My kids are not perfect and today they had a fist fight. You see, we can't control what our children do but we can control our reaction to it.

This particular day I was busy in the study when I heard some bad language. Now bad language is forbidden at our house. So I went to investigate and find out what was going on. Out in the lounge I found my three boys all on top of each other in a fight. Now I have to say, if you have girls you probably can't understand this. But boys like to fight. Or at least, my boys wanted to fight today.

Sam was choking so I quickly separated the boys. Then I was given a barrage of "he did this then I did this and he did this..." My mind was spinning as I was trying to figure out the best way to deal with this violence. the boys all went to their rooms and I went to see each boy separately to get the story about what had gone down.

I put the boys in their rooms and talked to each of them about what had happened. And, of course, I was given three different versions. Now why am I not surprised?

It was really bad timing for the boys as they had just organized for a friend to sleep over because it was school holidays. I told the boys that they would have to ring back their friend and cancel the sleepover on account of their violent episode. Then I went out for an hour, leaving them at home.

Actually, I was hoping that my kids would think about their behavior and do something while I was out to make up for their bad choices. I was just giving them an opportunity to right things. As it was school holidays I wanted to try to extend a little grace to them.

When I arrived home with my groceries I had a pleasant surprise. One of my kids was washing up the dishes, another was cleaning in the bathroom. The third boy was busy in the lounge tidying up. YES! My plan had worked.

Now I had every right to stick to my guns and say no sleepover. And it is OK to do just that. But I also love to extend grace to my kids whenever I can and show them that they can always lessen a consequence. You know, even people in jail get time off for good behavior. We need to remember that it is our job to train up our children in all things but still keep our relationship with them intact. Always look for opportunities top extend grace to your children. They will thank you for it later on in life.

My kids apologized to each other and away they went. But you can be sure that if there is another occurence these holidays the penalty will be severe.