An adoption option that includes a controlled level of communication between the birth mother and the prospective adoptive family or parent is called a semi-open adoption. As with any adoption, the facilitator or agency will maintain full communication with the birth mother and the adoptive family, but in a semi-open adoption, the two will likely never make contact without a third party. The agency, or facilitator, with both parties' agreement, will implement various forms of communication, which may include e-mail, cards and letters or even acting as the third party for phone communication. There are varying degrees of disadvantages to this option, both for the birth family and the adoptive family, and additionally for the adoptive child.

Disadvantages to consider for the birth parents are limitless, and different for each individual circumstance. If your desire is to maintain a degree of relationship or communication with your child, know that the course of a semi-open adoption usually doesn't provide for the names and location of the adoptive parents, subsequently, communication regarding the health and general well being of your child may not be readily available. Consider also, if your adoption agency contact leaves her current position, there may be a period of adjustment and an interruption in the flow of communication while the position, and your case, are being reassigned. Prepare yourself for the idea that your grieving process may be made more difficult by not being able to have the self assurance that the child you gave birth to has flourished in his new environment. The semi-open adoption, while a viable option for some, does not provide for continued updates to the birth parents over the course of the child's life.

While the thrill of a newly adopted child coming home is intangible for the adoptive family, the semi-open adoption does present it's own set of challenges for these new parent's. Lack of understanding and insight into the adoptive child's birth family may prevent a genuine connection to the relationship the child has with his history. This may present issues when it comes time to answer questions about heritage, medical history or any other numbers of things related to the child's blood relatives. Any communication that does occur between the adoptive family and the birth family has to be filtered through a third party, and there is the potential for delay while the contact is being made, and the question is being answered.

Consideration for the disadvantages of semi-open adoption for the adoptive child should be weighed carefully as well. The child may perceive a negative connotation surrounding his adoption when it is learned that his adoptive parents chose not to have first hand knowledge of his birth family. He may believe there is something wrong with the family or simply never fully understand why there was limited contact between the two families. As the child grows, and possibly finds his birth family, there could be reluctance to meet them, based on his preconceived notions, and challenges surrounding his own identity without a solid family history to support him. This child may also never fully understand the nuances surrounding the adoptive or birth families' choices, which could lead to a life long struggle to fully understand the sacrifices and circumstances that brought him to his adoptive family.

The adoptive process is full of options, each requiring a degree of soul searching and solid personal choices. Every adoption is unique and presents its self with it's own set of challenges, for the birth family, the adoptive family and the adoptive child. Fully exploring and expressing your wants, needs and desires surrounding your adoption, and keeping the lines of communication open, can ease the transition for all parties involved.