In this huge "struggle to juggle," I hear from so many burned-out professionals just trying to keep all of their balls in the air. From all different parts of the country, age groups, and specialties, people are screaming "UNCLE!" It brings to mind my all time favorite Seinfeld quote, "SERENITY NOW!" Are you available to everyone, all the time, via your cell phone, email, pager, or messenger pigeon? Are you missing out on living, because you are living to work? Are you "open" to the world 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? If you do not set very clear and intentional boundaries around your technology, you are a walking convenience store.

I just talked with a client this morning, who has spent the past 24 hours mentally whipping herself, because she missed her daughter's game winning goal. She was at the game, but busy answering a client call back at her van. When she went back to the field she saw the team cheering and hugging, and another parent filled her in, "Oh, you missed it. Stephanie scored at the last second. It was unbelievable...the play of the season. We won!" Parent pride was quickly engulfed by a wave of guilt that she's been riding since. She's ready to make some changes, because she's noticed that things like this are happening all the time. It's making her nuts. The "client emergency", she vented, was something that ranked right up there with not being able to find paper clips. My question: Why did you answer on a Sunday in the middle of a soccer game? I'm asking but I know the answer. I've been there. Without being very intentional about the way that I want to live, I can slip back there. She wanted to do a good job. She felt if she didn't respond, the proverbial poop would hit the fan.

Some of the people that I talk with are afraid that if they go down the path of self examination for answers, they'll end up meditating in the corner all day with drool running down their chin, or worse, losing all that they have strived to accomplish. Daring to reclaim your life, and really taking a close look at it, can bring in some pretty terrifying thoughts. Like, "I have to answer my phone every time it rings, or I'll lose the sale" (exaggerated to my car, house, and coin jar that's hidden from my kids), and "If I stop being a teacher and follow my dream of becoming a then "everyone" will think I'm a . Generally, these thoughts are not based in reality or truth, and keep us hostage in our own self made prisons. When we really start observing our thoughts, we become free from them. More on this at www.thework.com.

So, once you examine and let go of your limiting fears, what next? What are some real life ways to establish your own rules for living? I like to start with technology, because based on my personal and professional observations, has become the most abused, but the easiest to remedy:

Cell Phones-Wow. They are smaller, lighter, have more features than ever, and come in cute colors. You can surf the net, manage your schedule, call your mom, email your clients and listen to ITunes all from your phone. I, myself, have a love affair with my smart phone. But, like all good things, it is important to have some balance here. Is it necessary to check your email every ten minutes from your phone just because you can? Should you answer your cell phone every time it rings? Text messaging is efficient, but are you texting friends back while you are sitting at dinner with your family?

A. Answer less. Start by assessing, based on your business, how many of the calls your are fielding are important. Are there certain hours that you could establish when you will let you calls go to voice mail? When I did this, I realized that when I made myself less available, people seemed to be able to solve their own problems all by themselves. Suddenly, there were no emergencies. I was able to reclaim a few hours (at least) of uninterrupted time with my kids after school. When I started this process, the thought of turning off my phone between the hours of 3 and 5 pm practically started a panic attack. I am not kidding. But, those hours seemed to be the most bothersome for me, so that is where I began. I couldn't turn it off, so I put it on vibrate. At first, I could only last about an hour without checking my voice mail, but was really surprised that there were no real catastrophes. Then, I gradually moved to being able to put my phone away for those two hours, to only answering when I feel necessary. I understand that many of you have jobs that do require more phone availability than mine. What we are trying to do is not make you a slave to it.

B. Change your voice greeting. This is a very clear way to set boundaries. "Hi. You have reached Samantha the Fabulous. I am currently with another client. I am sorry that I missed your call and it is very important to me. I check my messages at 9, 12, and 3 everyday, and will respond as soon as I am able. Also, feel free to visit my web site at www.iamfabulous.com and email me with questions. Thanks, and have a great day." You have no idea how much time and energy this will save you.

Email-This has become a national pastime. I love email. But, my love for it can create some problems. Turn off your computer volume so that you aren't distracted and compelled to read it every time a new email arrives. I have been in the kitchen making dinner, heard the "ding" and sprinted to my office to read junk mail. Seriously. Better yet, just close out your email and only check it a few times a day. Same rules apply here as with your cell phone.

Land Line-Cell phones have almost replaced home phone usage. However, there are still two groups of people that know your home number: friends and family. Hopefully, by setting better boundaries around your cell phone, email, and text messaging, you'll have more time to spend with your inner circle. But, I also have some limits to when I will answer my home phone. If I am having dinner, enjoying a game with my kids, reading, or, in other words, having a great time, I might choose to let those calling my home phone go to the machine. This really irritates some members of my extended family. But, it's all about living life on your own terms. Just because it's the perfect time for someone to call and talk about the chicken pox, doesn't mean that it is the perfect time for me to answer. I am of the full opinion that the life that's going on right in front of me is more interesting than what might be discussed on the phone. Don't feel guilty about this.

Start by trying just one of these suggestions each week. Soon, you'll notice big chunks of time for doing what you really want to do.

"Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece." Ralph Charell