I think a lot about how stress can mess up our lives. There are tons of articles and books out there for us to read. But how many of us are able to actually apply this stuff. Let's face it, when we are out in bumper to bumper traffic and some one cuts us off, or when another telemarketer calls trying to push the Viagra just as you are getting ready to have dinner, it's kind of difficult not to get a little agitated.

The books written by experts can make for good reading when you are looking for something to put you to sleep at night. But relieving stress in the real world is a different story. How to spot stress and relieve it is very personal - my buttons are different than your buttons.

So in this vein, I decided to come up with my own list of signs that clues me in to knowing when stress is taking over my life. See if they ring true for you as well:

1. I drink more coffee than water. I happen to love coffee. I love the taste of it, the smell of it, and the way it feels when I hold it in my favorite mug. I allow myself coffee in the morning. 10am is around my switch off time. Then it's water. I use a filter container-no plastic bottles guys-you know better!

I got some great everyday glasses from my sister as a wedding gift (thank you, Sue!). This makes drinking the pure clean water even more enjoyable.

2. I talk more to my computer screen than to my spouse. I spend a great deal of time on the computer. And, yes, we have developed a very close relationship - I love my imac!

But, I love my husband more. There have been times where I find myself brushing him off because I have been in the middle of a great repertoire with this piece of technology. Usually I realize when it is happening, and I make up it up to him later.

My goal is to find a way not to lose my train of thought while being considerate to my partner. Patience is a virtue, and I know that it applies in this situation.

3. I talk about exercising more than I actually do. Before I was married I went to the gym everyday, two hours a day. I was so fit, and I felt so good....

I still go, but now it happens when Mark and I are on the same schedule. It's wonderful do stuff "together". But, does make some healthy routines (like exercising) difficult to do on a consistent basis.

So I've covered both sides of the continuum as far as going to the gym-everyday to not very often. What I need now is balance. Understanding the situation is the first step to getting there... I guess I am on my way. Phew!

4. I really believe my hair looks better if I don't shampoo it for three days. Okay, I admit it I've done this. And part of the reason is that I color my hair (and my hair guy is not cheap!), and the more I wash it, the more the gray seeps through. And let's face it girls, the salt-n-pepper look does not look as sexy on the ladies as it does on the gentlemen.

Having said that, I like having clean fresh hair every day. And Jeff (my hair guy) is too good to give up. So, I've compromised on this one. I have beautiful clean hair with a little gray showing now and then. I wear it proudly. Wisdom shows up in ways that make us keep our egos at bay. "Down boy."

5. I am driving home from work and I forget which freeway exit is mine. Maybe it was because I was momentarily spaced out. But this is kind of scary. I mean, come on! I attribute this one to lack of sleep, or lack of proper sleep.

For me, it may mean less water or hot tea drinking a couple hours before I go to bed. (I won't elaborate on this). But, that means I will have to drink more water between 10am and 5pm. You do what you gotta do...

6. I would rather use paper plates then wash the dishes. This one is difficult for me to stop doing. I really dislike washing the dishes. The truth is I need someone to give me a real reason why it is not okay to do this once and a while.That's right, I usually do use a regular dish, and I almost always use regular drinking glasses (Sue's great wedding gift).

The paper plates are great when my 14 year old step-son is with us, and we fix burgers and pizza. So, I'm letting myself slide for now. As I mentioned before, I think balance is important. But if someone feels strongly about this one-speak up, I'll listen. By the way, I do use recycled paper plates-I love the earth!

7. I start to like "the wrinkled look." It's not so much that I like it, it's just that some days I do not care. For the most part I work at home. I write and work on my computer in my office, either by myself or with Mark. The way I try to keep this whole wrinkled look under control is using Mark as a gauge. If he starts looking fresher than me than I know I have to step it up. Now, keep in mind, my hubby is very good with personal hygiene- when I first starting dating after my divorce this was at the top of my must-have list. I like clean men.

I digress, sorry. The point is that keeping stress-inducing habits under control is a process. It requires awareness, patience, compromise and consideration. And probably other things I'm forgetting. And, as with other important things in life, it is important to care.

I believe relieving stress deserves attention. So I do care. Less stress equates to living life with more fun and passion. Work and play blend in to each other, and relationships deepen. Sounds good to me.