How a Mothers personal space, private space, and even virtual space begins to disappear, seemingly overnight and what she can do to win it back well, some of it anyway.
Everyone is talking about My Space this, My Space that, and Have you visited My Space? Let me be the first to tell you, there is no such thing as My Space. At least, for a Mom there isnt. The truth is, once you find out you are expecting, your space begins to vanish instantaneously. In just a few months, what once was your fine body that you could flaunt and use however you choose, is now more of a mother ship that is anything but free. Your stomach is occupied with a bundle of joy with a bit of Napoleon complex, threatening to take over and conquer all space claimed and unclaimed as their own. As a Mother-to-be, you have no idea about what youre soon to give up.
Its time for Mothers across America to unite and take a stand against the spatial takeover that has occurred in the common household. As a Mom who once had walk-in closets, office space and a private bathroom where you could actually enjoy privacy, vow to take no more.
When they began to feel their space closing on them physically, Mothers sought refuge in virtual space on the internet in chat rooms and blogs. But, that space too has been invaded. Advertising agencies have now flooded the internet with attractive, interactive websites where children can view and sample all the games and toys they can ever dream of asking for. When Moms turn on their personal computers they find all kinds of downloads that their children have so gracefully overloaded their memory with. That is, when they actually have a turn to use the computer. This is exactly what our girlfriends warned us about.
But, there is hope. Today, I present Mothers everywhere with a 4-step strategy for reclaiming their space and their homes.
Step 1. Sacrifice one room in your house and declare it as your childrens designated playroom. Put all the toys you may find beneath your computer, in your closet and on the stairs into this room and know that anything that goes in may never come out. You may feel like youve already given up enough of your physical space in the house without giving up one more room. But, trust me, giving up this room will mean reclaiming other rooms in the long run. Your children will be overjoyed with the idea of having all their toys piled up haphazardly in one place and having the freedom to throw things all over the place.
If you have a teenager, the same concept applies. Because they crave independence, they will love the idea of having a hangout spot in the house. Keep them involved in the design and interior decorating (on a budget). It will be like having a tree house indoors.
Step 2. Designate one space in each shared room of the house as Mommys Space and make it off-limits for everybody elses things. Whether its a shelf, a small cabinet or a big drawer, let the entire family know that this space is reserved for your things and your things only. If you find anyone elses belongings in that space, remove them immediately and lovingly bring it to their attention.
Step 3. Lock the door. Okay, this is a sensitive subject that we are about to address. We often hear people talk about that one time when they were little and they walked in on their Mom and Dad when they shouldnt have. Please, save your child the trauma of realizing one day they witnessed their parents having intimate relations and lock the bedroom door (or whatever door) when youre having that special adult-only time.
If you enjoy using the bathroom in privacy, lock the door. Youd think that a closed door would mean Do Not Enter. But, for a child its actually a curiosity teaser. As they pass closed doors your children think, Now there must be something fun going on in there or Mommy wouldnt be closing the door to hide it from me! Lock the door. Lock the door. Lock the door! And explain to your children that you love them, but that its Mommys right to have some personal space.
Step 4. Your computer comes equipped with functions to distinguish users. If you have a family computer that everyone uses, create a username for everyone so when they turn on the computer they can log on to their individual space. This will keep everyones work and online activities separate. If you use the computer for work at home, make it clear to the entire family that when Mom is working at home the computer is off-limits unless you have stated otherwise. Invest in a file cabinet with labels so everyone can have their own drawer for print-outs, supplies, and papers.
Using these tips, Mothers everywhere can restore their space and sense of privacy. Establishing these simple steps will teach your children valuable lessons in respecting the personal space of others and sharing. So, spread the truth about My Space to all of your fellow maternal friends and enjoy freedom within your home once again.