What makes us who we are? Is it biological or environmental? These are questions that are very often debated. Even if you feel that you are on one side or the other of this debate, it's pretty safe to say that your parents had something to do with it. If you believe that our personas are developed biologically, then there is no question that you may be just like your mother or father. If you believe it is all environmental, then the same probably holds true.

You were probably raised with at least one, if not both, parents. So you've probably also heard someone in your life say to you, "You are just like your mother/father!Whoever said it might not have meant it as a compliment, right? Well here's the good news. It's just a figure of speech. Even if your parents were the greatest or most horrible parents that ever existed, there is no way that you are just like them.

What I am getting at is this: You are getting a divorce or have done so recently. You've looked for the reason for it under every rock you could find. One of them may be that your parent's marriage did or didn't work out. If they have a successful marriage, then you are thinking, "What's wrong with me?" And if they didn't, you are thinking, "I'm just like my mother and I know my father couldn't stand her, that's why my husband left."

WRONG! Undoubtedly, you will have inherited some qualities from each of your parents. You have similar qualities of your siblings, too. Whatever the circumstance may be, there will always be similarities to the people that you were raised by or are genetically linked to. The same still holds true: you aren't them! You are your own individual Self with all that means. No one has ever been or ever will be just like you. If your marriage has failed it isn't because you yell like your mom.

The experiences you have had in your life make up who you are. Your parents are only one contributing factor. If your parents were divorced for one reason or another, that alone will not make it your destiny as well. Don't make to many comparisons between your life and your parents. You will always be either "not measuring up to their successes" or "feeling destined to have the same failures."

Neither is the case in actuality. Your successes are your own (not inherited) as are your failures. You are you. Be happy with who you are, and don't focus too much on who created you. Be proud of the qualities that you inherited, but know that you are your own person.