When people get older, some of their abilities may change and they may need some assistance to a varying degree with finances, transport, or even personal hygeine.

So, how do you know when to step in? The best way to know is to get a geriatric assessment done. This would be particularly appropriate if you notice your parents showing symptoms such as memory loss or confusion which may be associated with dementia. Sometimes these signs can be a simple case of medication interactions or may be associated with other medical problems. A geriatric assessment will clarify whether this is the case.

An assessment determines a person's ability to remain living independently based on their mental, physical, financial and environmental conditions. Of course, the parents need to be fully involved in the process as it is their quality of life that is at stake. This assessment may recognise the need for only minor interventions, enabling them to remain living in their own home for as long as possible. However, the support of others may put your mind at rest as well as making your parents? life more enjoyable and safe.

So, how do you approach the subject with your parents? Family discussions about this topic can be difficult for all concerned but ignoring the problem won't help anyone. It is best to discuss these matters before problems arise. This way, you know what your parents want and are able to plan in advance. This way you can abide by their wishes and be more able to help them live in a manner that they prefer.

If you feel that you cannot launch straight into personal subjects such as finances and so forth with your parents, then perhaps you may be able to give them a list of your concerns and arrange to talk to them after they have had a chance to think about them. This also gives them the chance to consider what is in their best interests and prepare to discuss their needs with you.

It is normal for parents to resist the thought of others delving into the subject of their independence and you need to respect that. If they tell you to mind your own business, try again another time. Give them some time to accept that it is something you are doing because you love them and care about their future.

Ask your parents about their own thoughts and concerns. Let them share their hopes for their older years as well as their worries about them. Don't bombard them with everything in one go but have a number of conversations with them on different areas of their life.

These discussions could revolve around such topics as their current home and whether it will meet their needs in future years, their finances and how they will continue to support themselves, options for transport, health problems and so forth.

If there is an issue with health and safety, you need to recognise your parents? right to make their own choices but at the same time, you need to be firm and compassionate. Tell them that they cannot ignore what is happening and explain what options they have. This way, they may admit to the problem, knowing that there are community services that can help without them having to necessarily move out of their home.

Don't talk down to your parents. Remember, you are all adults and you are not ?parenting? them. Treat them as equals and as having the ability to make lifetime choices whilst still capable. After all, it is their quality of life that is at stake. You may not agree with their choices, but unless they are impaired by dementia, they still have the right to their own decisions.

Discuss with your parents the importance of working as a team in meeting their needs and respect their concerns. Often, aging parents worry about being a burden to their family. They may also worry that their family may take over their lives so it is imperative that you lay some ground rules for mutual respect. This includes discussing limits so that there are no unrealistic expectations on either part.