In a perfect world, marriage would be a total union of the heart, mind, soul and bank accounts. But in the long list of major decisions in a marriage, when to have children has got to be at the top of that list. Nowadays, couples have become more and more liberated and open-minded about the complicacies and hardships of maintaining a good and harmonious marriage.

On problems

If you have found that all the little issues in your marriage have compounded leaving you with one big marriage problem then the first step you need to take is to identify the individual issues, sit down and make a list, then once you understand what is actually causing your marriage problems decide which issues are important. Then, if you are serious about wanting to turn your life around and save your marriage you need to understand the true extent of the problem. It's so easy just to say we don't have the same feelings anymore and assume that the time has come to draw the line but what about if you just take a step back and attack loss of intimacy in the same way you should handle any common marriage problem.

Boredom is one of those common marriage problems that can be driven from the lull after the excitement of the chase. In some instances there are good grounds for feeling insecure with partners commonly struggling to recover from previous marriage problems that have broken the trust in the marriage. And financial problems in marriage, if not handled correctly, can increase stress levels, fuel arguments, cause partners to start blaming each other and often lead to separation and divorce.

And it is possible to keep your marriage even with only one person doing the work. We often find that our first opinion is the right one and that includes when choosing a partner to spend the rest of our lives with.

Counseling

A lot of the time, married couples will cringe at the idea of marriage counseling because they feel that it's an admission of failure. Regardless of the studies and opinions which seem to support the effectiveness of marriage / couples counseling, there are those who question it's effectiveness. While the above study provides raw data that supports the effectiveness of marriage and family counseling, a very interesting discussion on the question "Does Couples Counseling Work" from a public forum devoted to this topic offers a less clinical, but still positive view.

Timely counseling can save your marriage - if both partners are commited to the marriage and to the counseling process. I am all for marriage counseling to save marriage, however, very often people are being paid huge sums to point out the blindingly obvious. In my opinion, the most helpful and perhaps the healthiest way for people to look at marriage counseling is to consider it routine maintenance and not a last ditch effort to save a lost cause.

Let's face it; if you're looking for advice on marriage, you could spend DAYS researching on the internet without even scratching the surface of all the marriage advice that's out there. If you are single, dating, or trying to get to "I DO" and spend too much time hurting and not enough time loving this may be the most important love relationship advice you could ever receive.

Many studies have found that, "Cohabiting unions tend to weaken the institution of marriage and pose clear and present dangers for women and children. In terms of marriage, look around your own world for the couples who have the strongest and most enjoyable marriages.