Being a parent has to be one of the hardest jobs in the world. When we were children it all looked so easy, and we constantly criticised our own parents for making disastrous mistakes, all of which we swore we'd never make if and when we ever got to be parents ourselves. So here we are, making whole reams of mistakes of our own, and finding that whatever we think is the right thing to do, our children, or our children's friends have other ideas. We look at other parents, who seem to manage fine, and then we look at our own mess and wonder what went wrong. Being a parent is very much like being up a creek without a paddle, and the boat's leaking. Each day seems another battle has to be won.

One aspect in particular which has worried parents today, and which was not an issue back in the days when we were children, is the advent and proliferation of computers and other technologies which allow our children to meet, interact and communicate online with people from all over the world, and to spend hours glued to a screen focussing entirely on moving bunches of pixels from one place to another in a desperate attempt to do strange things like finish the 'Quest of The j'Graa Goblet' or seek out Lord Krakticka to pwn him with the rest of the guildies. If this means nothing to you, then join the club - it's a big club, with a growing number of members.

Most of us are quite literate when it comes to using computers, and indeed most of us have to use them for work each day. Sending and receiving emails, creating letters and documents, working through spreadsheets and databases is of little difficulty. Yet our children seem to find depths to the computer that leave us perplexed. We are the generation who is aware of identity problems, and shred our paperwork rigorously, protecting our personal data at all costs. Yet our children seem to relish the idea of publishing photos, journals and intimate secrets with rash abandon for the whole world to see and do what they will with the material. We'd never stand in the street handing out our email address, phone number and a bunch of photos to any individual who passed us. Yet this is exactly what our children seem to be doing in the digital world. They claim to have hundreds of online friends, yet have never met any of them, and this goes against our very concept of what friendship means.

Few of us can have missed the numerous stories on the news about children who go missing after meeting up with someone on the internet. The statistics are grim, and the reality is clearly that there are predators who use the internet as a way of accessing children. It's easy to view the computer as the problem, as the cause of danger, and the temptation is to remove its presence from the home entirely.

Most of us realise, however, that it isn't the computers which are evil, and the vast majority of people on the internet are perfectly decent individuals. Yes, it's true that there are risks associated with using the internet, but then there are dangers associated with almost everything in life. We could go down to the shopping mall and be blown up by terrorists, or we could take a plane on our next holiday and die in a horrendous crash, or we be knocked down and trampled by a donkey. Every day we take risks, and yet most of us seem to survive them. Clearly this is because we take calculated risks, and use common sense to judge the dangers, and act accordingly. Clearly getting in to a plane held together by sticky tape would be absurd, and crossing the road blindfolded would also be liable to come with far greater risk. Similarly, using the internet is only a danger if you either have no idea what the risks are, or simply ignore them and effectively cross the road blindfold every time you log on, or allow your children to.

So what are the main problems with using the internet, and what can we as parents do to help increase the safety of our children whilst they are enjoying this resource? The most important, and ultimately effective method of helping to support our children is education. This means education of ourselves, and education of our children. The more that you know and understand what is meant by messenger software, chat rooms, online games, profiles and avatars, the more you'll be able to help your child understand the dangers, and the benefits of using the internet in a safe way. Remember, we're not trying to scare our children away from the internet - it's always going to be around and we're not going to be able to stop them in the end, but we can help make them aware of the issues and help them make educated decisions themselves.

We spend time as parents teaching our children about 'stranger danger', and make sure they understand not to interact with anyone they don't know. They have it drummed in to them from an early age that they should not talk to strangers, go off with them, accept lifts or sweets or invitations, and that if they suspect anything is wrong, run back home or to safety straight away and tell someone. This same policy and understanding is often lacking online. The strangers are still there, most of whom are perfectly decent, but many are sadly using the anonymity of the internet to hide behind fake profiles. Our children understand about strangers in the street or park. But online, people aren't strangers. They have photos, names, hobbies, backgrounds, families and favourite music. The fact that these profiles may be entirely fake seems to pass our children by.

There are other methods besides education which can be used, such as filtering software, monitoring software to record all chat logs, and software that can limit or restrict either the websites accessed or the times at which they can be accessed. Not allowing computers in the bedroom is another good tactic - if the computer is somewhere public, such as the living room, then it is less likely that your child will take risks, and it gives you the parent the chance to have a look at what they're doing, express an interest, and learn more about the world they live in. Your child is more likely to talk to you about what they're doing if you seem interested. Whilst restrictions, software and spy-like monitoring can help, at the end of the day, it has to be about your relationship with them, and the real world communication that takes place.