Oh, the dreaded first impression. Most of us just never get it right. We crack some lame joke that even we know doesn't pass for worthy of a grin, we spill our drinks, stumble over our words, and of course, just don't stop until we have not only completed embarrassed ourselves but also misrepresented ourselves.

Women really get all the power in a first impression situation. They have the ability to come across so calm and collected no matter what is going through their heads while we fumble around and look stupid for the sake of saying 'Hello'. Why? Because they are simply not in a position that entails pressure.

No matter how cool we know that we are, we often run into the problem of poorly dealing with the issues of first impression and screwing it all up because in our world, it matters how she rates our performance. She gets to be so relaxed because she is not worried about her first impression but is in a position of judgment. This kind of makes a guy a little nervous and throws off even his best game. Nobody enjoys the process of being judged, especially when we know about it.

So where does a guy go from here? Once again we have to visit how we feel about ourselves and what it really means to us if she turns us down or can't laugh at our cute little mistakes. If we know we're cool, and we know that we are a good catch, we can honestly go straight to a place of reassurance when we strike out. If we hang our self esteem on her reaction, then we are going to fall short every time. This concept is simple and poignant, but not necessarily easy and completely implementable immediately.

Learning that you're a cool guy (no matter what label you carried like a badge in high school) can be a really long process. I know guys that are well into their forties and fifties and still haven't figured out that they really are decent men with good intentions. Who wants to let someone else decide that for us? They don't have to live in our heads, so why would we give them that type of power over us. God knows they already have enough.

Get comfortable in your own skin. Make a few mistakes and then watch as the world doesn't fall apart. It doesn't even slow down to notice. We are usually the only ones who notice when we aren't our most perfect selves. Knowing that whether or not you get shot down doesn't change who you are or how cool you are takes a lot of that pressure away. And that makes it easier to score.

Don't make things so complicated. When you walk up to an attractive woman and you are really hoping for a strong dialog, connection, and hopefully a little sexual energy, you don't have to set yourself up with a plethora of comedic lines or a stash of potentially enticing conversation starters. Women are pretty good talkers if you can get them to open up a little. Men like to go for the bottom line first and then decide if the woman is worth talking to. Asking someone in the first thirty seconds of making them aware of your existence to hop into bed with you is a pretty surefire way to get shot down.

Getting women to open up verbally can lead to the physical opening up that you are hoping for, but you do have to take a little time to cultivate it, not thirty seconds. It is okay to determine her availability, but generally not for sexual exploitation. You want to know if she came with anyone, if she is available, and if you have a shot, right? No sweat. Try using statements instead of questions. Statements like 'I came along with my buddies, or 'I just broke up with my girlfriend about two months ago', are easy conversation pieces that allow her to respond without feeling chased and also direct the conversation in the direction that you need it to in order to receive the information that you need.

Once you stop trying so hard and realize that talking to a woman is nothing more than starting a conversation, your ability to approach women will increase tenfold and you will be so much less likely to strike out. If she decides that she isn't interested in you, well then she probably isn't all that to begin with. And that attitude can put you in a position where women start coming to you instead.