In spiritual circles, there is a great deal of negative talk about the ego. "We must not over identify with the ego. We must do more to identify as spirit and as individualized souls." Often, when listening to others speak in this way, I hear words that ring true but energy that does not. My experience is that many people go too far in their expression of this concept and are not at peace with what the words actually mean.

My suggestion is to think instead, not of destroying the ego, but of spiritualizing the ego. Make the personality a friend. Work with Self. Create an identity that loves and that is as much human as it is divine. To me, this is the highest path. Just because you're a yogi doesn't mean you shouldn't have fun loving Joe Smith at Dunkin' Donuts. A true saint would never judge an interaction in this way, but would instead create a way to lovingly affirm and engage.

I'm not suggesting that one should neglect the practice of deep meditation and the practice of identifying as spirit and soul. Indeed, such practice is a vital ingredient in the creation of a loving identity. Only by anchoring our Selves in something far more vast than the human experience, in something beyond body and beyond mind, are we then enabled to really live.

One way to more fully participate in spiritualizing the ego is to look into your history and to identify roles that you have formerly played. Once you have done this you will see even more clearly that you are not (and never were) those roles, even if at the time it really felt that way.

Allow me an example.

Through most of college I believed I was an ice hockey player. I put at least 5 hours of disciplined focus and activity into ice hockey each and every day. Weight training, on-ice drills, and even equipment preparation were substantial investments of time. Travel and off-ice team activities were also considerable. Most important, however, was the mental/emotional commitment. The depth of this commitment reached powerfully into my sense of self.

Identifying as a hockey player was an important part of growing-up. It enabled me to throw myself completely into a role and to see both its beauty and limitations. I experienced great success as well as great failure. But when my skill level did not hold the attention of coaches and scouts at the professional level, it was time to begin letting go of that role and of that part of my identity.

This example is important because it demonstrates that no matter how wrapped up (over-identified with ego) we are, a time will come for that part of our identities to melt away or to be redefined. This is true for even the most basic roles, such as when parents and children eventually become friends.

The key is to learn to remember to be aware of this impermanence in "real time". Can you watch and participate in your life at the same time. Can you remember to perform the temporary roles in your life effectively, but never forget that you are also Spirit and Soul? Our bodies and minds and emotions may go through profound experience and change, but we can keep ourselves anchored in something deeper. We can anchor ourselves in something permanent.

The ego enables us to get on in the world. Embrace it. Spiritualize it. Hug the guy at Dunkin' Donuts. Simply identify with God first, so that whether you are skating on ice or acting as a businessman or loving as a son, the whole time you are also aware that you are first and foremost God's child and connected to SometThing that is lasting and joyous and safe. This takes practice. Meditate. Forget the physical body, rest thought and emotion, connect to what's real, and come alive.

Aum. Peace. Amen.