Because I had a wonderful New York socialite for a mother-in-law, I was introduced to New York City and her side of life. Loving her the way I did, I made myself fully pliable. I found New York to be a career-oriented city; if one does not have a career, I'm told women make one up rather than apologize for being a housewife, or home-maker.

Invitations were frequent to Libby's mailbox, and she naturally reciprocated in kind. And those being my ?green' years, I did everything I could to hide my terror at these functions. I felt incredible pressure to be ready with input on any subject.

New Yorkers seem to judge everyone by certain achievements -- their schooling, their career, or their business address. It's been said there's no place like it for vocational humiliation. And sooner or later -- the dreaded question is posed, "Where did you school?" or the fatal one, "What do you do?"

If you give the name of your High School or the fact that you don't do anything at the moment, you may draw raised eyebrows or a soft, "ah-h". A personal measurement is being assessed; a quiet pass-fail test for future social gatherings. Do you have some interest, activity, or purpose in common with the interrogator?

In retrospect, I may have done a fair job of fudging. I had to accept that in certain surroundings, my identity would be tied to what I did, not in what I was.

Fast-forward several years and New York is now only a memory. Yet I still carry valuable lessons learned from that experience as even today I open new chapters. The Internet came into my life and while it's been a cruel teacher, it certainly has been thorough. It's ringing Anthem -- Lead, follow or get out of the fast lane!

The hardest part of entrepreneurship was in marketing me. It's not much different than my story above because I am still judged by my achievements. The "What do you do?question is unspoken, but it still echos there. If you expect to lead you better have good reasons why someone should follow.

Marketing yourself on the Internet should not be a struggle, unless you make it so. Naturally it's a lot more rewarding if your efforts result in clients calling you ready to work with you, and even better when these clients turn into worthwhile paychecks. Networking is a contact sport.

There are numerous ways to make your achievements visible. Start an Ezine or Newsletter to gain subscribers. Make your weekly or monthly output full of good tips and techniques. Your Website can offer valuable free offers; freebies can be found by entering that word in the Search Engines. Start a blog and get it syndicated so many, many people read it. Write Articles. Write an Ebook and give it away. Bottom line -- get your name out there over and over again.

What you do better, faster, cheaper and with higher quality than your counterpart, is where you will begin to stop following and start leading. Think of marketing as "giving something" instead of "trying to get something" and this mindset will result in word-of-mouth business. Surfers merely want to know that you understand their situation, and next, how you will help them.

Experiments done in 1927 by Bluma Zeigarnik showed us that we remember interrupted tasks the best. Who knew? The reason was simply that "the tension created by unfinished tasks helps us to remember". Let's offer an example of this.

You're watching the news and you hear an announcement like, "Today, the borrower becomes the lender. More on that story later but first?" Don't you find yourself glued to that broadcast, even knowing that they will air the rest of the story last? That's an effective use of the Zeigarnik effect.

You can connect this principle with marketing, and you should. The "interrupted task" is your advertisement that is incomplete. Who likes a half-story? Your readers will naturally want to hear more, and they'll satisfy that by inquiring. But be aware, people will be fooled once, but not twice. Be sure you fulfill your teaser.

Today, I write my own paycheck. What do you do?

2007 Esther Smith