The telephone- a miracle of the modern age, allowing communication through vast distances. Although this wonder tool has been one of man's most important assets throughout human history, it has also been the source of some of man's biggest dilemmas and many a headache, particularly pertaining to girls. This dilemma is only compounded by the advent of answering services, caller trace and other suchlike devices.

Knowing when and how often to call is something every guy should know if he wishes to master the art of telecommunication with the fairer sex. After all, this knowledge can really make or break a relationship even before it has actually begun.

Calling for the first time

So you meet the girl of your dreams in a club one night. You somehow build up the courage to talk to her and BAM!, instant connection. Interesting conversation then ensues. She actually laughs at your jokes and, wonder of wonders, she gives out her phone number.

So, mission accomplished, right? Wrong. Sorry son, but this battle has barely just begun. The first call is often the most daunting, and causes men the most agitating problems. Basically screwing this up can mean clipping the wings of a possibly beautiful relationship before it has a chance to take flight.

Timing is everything

Be sure not to jump the gun. It is important to time the first call properly for maximum effect. Calling too soon to ask a girl out can give the impression of being too eager. Around three days is an ample waiting period. "Huh? Who is this again?" Waiting too long can be just as bad. Nothing is worse than being forgotten. It's important not to wait longer than a week to avoid a possibly embarrassing conversation.

So now you've finally got a girlfriend. You've been dating for a while. Telecommunication is still an important part of the relationship.

Here are some things to remember:

First and foremost, when you say you're going to call her, call her. Not calling when she's expecting one can cause her to contemplate your intentions. This may lead the girlfriend to think you're not really into it. She might even start looking elsewhere for some tender loving care.

Avoid calling during work. Once in a while when you have a valid reason is okay, but too much can be distracting to her.

Schedule your call after working hours. Even if you have nothing to do the whole day, she does not need to know that. It's imperative to give the impression of having a busy and eventful life. Of course, it's even better if you actually have one. Also, it's best to call in the middle of the week if you're going to ask her out for the weekend. This will allow plenty of time to prepare for the possible rendezvous.

After leaving a message, all that's left is to wait for a return call. Days later, could it be possible that she's not calling back? No, that's not possible. The message must have gone astray, right? Well, if the message was left to somebody else, there's a relatively good chance that she didn't receive it. So feel free to call back after a day. If it's left to some sort of answering service, chances are she received it and just doesn't want to call back.

If she leaves a message, you might want to wait a day to call back so as not to seem to be at her every beck and call. Exceptions apply when the message goes somewhere along the lines of, "Help, my house is on fire!"

If you find yourself geographically apart for a time, you don't have to necessarily bombard her with phone calls. Just make sure that the calls you make are meaningful. You might even send a personalized gift or card just to remind her of you.

Generally you can't call your girlfriend too often unless of course she's finding reasons to cut the conversation short. This is a sign that she is showing traces of suffocation. Three times a day just to say howdy is a bit much.

As is with the other important things in life, when it comes to calling your girlfriend, it is the quality and not the quantity that matters most. And above all, don't forget to call when you say you will.