The most important thing to do as part of the recovery process is rebuilding trust. It will be an uphill battle for the person who had the affair to regain the trust of his or her partner, however, with enough accountability and transparancy this can be achieved.

An affair will also bring into question the degree of commitment and love. After being caught in an affair, one must also work hard to get their partner to see them in a positive light. The love, physical and emotional, will not be easily replaced, rebuilt, or renewed but like trust, these things can be restored. Remembering that forgiveness and reconciliation are not instantaneous will help. Minimum recovery time for two people who are motivated, honest, patient, and sincere is 18 months. It can take longer. Don't rush.

One of the main things to be learned will be to compromise. This must be done in order to continue in the recovery process. A new and better relationship must be created and habits and attitudes will need to evolve.

It is very trying to get over the mental anguish caused by infidelity and the relationship will stand little chance if this cannot be overcome.

In the recovery process, it may take a long time to reestablish the level of intimacy, both physical and emotional, that was present before. Now is the time to focus on the other parts of your relationship and seeing the other good qualities of your spouse. This may be the best opportunity to strengthen your marriage that you will ever have. However, this will take time and it is better to do it right the first time than to try and try again.

Even with all the strides taken to repair your relationship, it still may not be able to be saved. Your partner may not even think it is worth saving. The recovery process, however, can make your marriage even stronger than it was before and the person who had the affair may just realize what they wanted was at home waiting, but many trials must be passed before forgiveness can take place.

It is true that an affair can ruin a marriage, but if both parties wish to fight for their marriage, it can be done and may even become stronger. We, as humans, want to physically and emotionally connect with one another at a level that is deep, which is why striving to save what you have can bring you peace.