I spoke to him about the process of coaching, that we would look at his habitual behaviors and patterns of thinking, and create an action plan towards achieving his goals. He was listening, but then he looked at me with this quizzical expression full of doubt and wonder. I said, “It appears that you have some questions.” He paused a moment and said, “I've heard this before. I know this. It's just frustrating that I should pay someone like a coach when I know what to do.” We spoke some more. I could feel his frustration in feeling stuck.



Many of us know what to do. It's a matter of actually doing it on a consistent and focused basis. That can be the challenging part. If we want to lose weight, we know we need to eat less and exercise more. If we want to finish school and get a good job, we need to study and earn good grades. The fact is that life and our own thoughts, habits, fears, as well as others opinions, often get in our way. We feel pulled in so many different directions with family, friends, job opportunities, and messages from the media. It's not surprising we often feel confused, stressed out, and overwhelmed.

Where do we turn, and how do we balance and figure out the various pieces of our lives? Although family and friends can be good to talk to, they often have advice on how we should lead our lives. Coaches look at your own best interests and follow the client's lead and line of thought as their guide. Looking at your whole life picture, the coach can help lay out the pieces of one's life, so they make more sense, and can be seen clearly, outside of the client's own jumbled thoughts and fears.

In this country we have so many opportunities today and so many choices. This is a wonderful thing, but it can also be confusing and overwhelming. Years ago, when life was simpler, people did what they had to do, they often met someone, married, and had children, and made life work the best they could. Today, the choices are limitless, and we are asking ourselves what is the best choice for me? Along with having more choices, often comes having more concerns about which direction is the best one for us to take. Freedom can be a privilege if one is clear about one's intention. It can also be a burden.

Americans as a culture and a people, are very independent. We have a belief and sense of pride that says we should be able to make it on our own; that we shouldn't need anyone. Who says? We all need support systems—family, friends, a therapist, or coach, a monthly or weekly support group of like minded people. Love, community, and connection are what get us out of bed every day, and make our lives worth living. And our dreams make it worth it of course. We imagine and plan our dream vacation, our dream love, our dream career, our dream child. What is your dream or passion? No one says you have to face the journey alone.