I read the news today oh boy    About a lucky man who made the grade    And though the news was rather sad    Well I just had to laugh    I saw the photograph       He blew his mind out in a car    He didn't notice that the lights had changed    A crowd of people stood and stared    They'd seen his face before    Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords.       I saw a film today oh boy    The English Army had just won the war    A crowd of people turned away    But I just had to look    Having read the book, I'd love to turn you on...       Woke up, fell out of bed,    Dragged a comb across my head    Found my way downstairs and drank a cup,    And looking up I noticed I was late.       Found my coat and grabbed my hat    Made the bus in seconds flat    Found my way upstairs and had a smoke,    and Somebody spoke and I went into a dream       I read the news today oh boy    Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire    And though the holes were rather small    They had to count them all    Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.    I'd love to turn you on.