Russian Women and her Children

Russian Women and her Children

Russian women are considered to be the best mothers. They are worthy of the title. Is there a country where mothers help their children morally and financially throughput their life? Is there a country which saw such self-sacrificed mothers? And, after all, is there a country where mothers watch over and control their children so meticulously?

This is a true fact that most Russian parents support their children throughout the whole life. Even after the children have celebrated their 30th, 40th or 50th birthday, the mother will bring them food and supply with money, often at the expense of her scarce old-age pension. The Russian woman will not let her child see her weakness. For all she is worth she will strive to show him, no matter little or grown-up, 'Look, how strong I am! I always know how one should act in any situation, I will find the way out of any deadlock. And you are frail and can't survive without my help.' Let us consider some peculiarities of a Russian woman's relations with her son and daughter.

• Russian woman and her son.
  Russian parents rejoice more at the birth of a son than of a daughter. Such is the impact of the dramatic past of Russia, when men were slaughtered in numerous wars. The number of men in Russia is always less than that of women, which accounts for their privileged social position and a kind of adoration of them. The slogan 'Let us protect men' is not a mere irony to a Russian woman. A very strong emotional link between a mother and her son is characteristic of Russia, it cannot be broken even by the latter's marriage.
  
  A man subconsciously looks for a woman resembling, in appearance or character, his mother. Sometimes a wife is forced to fight for her husband literally snatching him out of hands of his mother, who tries to control his every step. Sometimes a very obedient son may never marry and prefers to live with his mother or, quite on the contrary, a man may oppose his mother's excessive control and manifest through his desire to keep her as far as possible from his own family. It was found that a strong mother has a weak son, as a rule, and a weak mother - a strong son. The typical behavior pattern is like this: a woman who fails to make herself think of her son as a grown-up man and to separate from him, will always consider him her little boy. Consequently she will tend him and guard him and control him.

• Russian woman and her daughter.
  Mother's love can be both the greatest benefit and the greatest evil for the daughter as well, as for the son. Sometimes a bright blooming mother has a very timid and inconspicuous daughter by her side. The other extremity is when a mother sacrifices her life to her daughter's. In this case the mother indulges all her daughter's whims, while the latter becomes very capricious and willful. The golden middle lies between the two extremes. In most cases mother tries to teach her little daughter to feel like a little hostess of the house and forms her first skills of running it.
  
  It is mother who gives her daughter the first lessons of knitting and sewing. A mother and a daughter often keep their family cookery book, in which they collect the recipes of their favorite dishes. Mother always expects help about the house from her daughter and her capability of being independent. A wise mother would never insist on her own life principles, but tactfully help her daughter, admitting the right to make decisions by herself. 'Do it as you wish,' as she may say to the daughter. Still there are mothers who actively interfere in the private lives of their daughters. They may be persistent in their requirements concerning their future son-in-law; they may even dictate their daughters whether to marry this or that young man or not, or how to build the relations with him.

So, we may say that the child is the highest value of the Russian woman. She doesn't have to learn to love her child. But sometimes she has to learn to be wise in this love. A Russian woman will surely love your child too, as if he were her own one, because the beloved man and his offspring are inseparable for her.

Russian Women and her extended Family

The group of relatives with whom a Russian woman usually tries to keep connection, is determined not only by the blood ties, but by her family and national traditions, her sociability and the place where she lives. As a rule, before the marriage a Russian girl has close relations with her parents, brothers and sisters, cousins, grandfathers and grandmothers, uncles and aunts (most often, her parents' brothers and sisters). After the wedding she gets new relatives on her husband's side.

There is a strong tendency in modern Russia: while on the whole family relationships become loose, the Russian woman is still close to her mother and sister. The relations with the husband's relatives are more complicated. But it is necessary to know that for the sake of her beloved man, a Russian woman would strive to be on friendly terms with his relatives, she would do anything for them to like her, and if they don't, she would simply keep good relations with them to please her husband.

The Russian woman is more likely to keep her blood ties. She is usually close to her mother and sister; do not try to make this connection loose, as it is something really sacred for her. She will be cruelly offended if you are not able to understand her feelings towards the relatives. And so are your own relatives for her, as they are an integral part of you; and she will try to make friends with them as soon as possible.