Stop Divorce 101- How To Cope When Your Spouse Wants a Divorce

By: Kausik Dutta

Things often fall apart, and the center cannot hold, in the words of Yeats; this rings especially true with marriage. The issue of stopping divorce is a tricky subject to touch on, because, more than problems, it involves one spouse who wants a divorce and another who doesn't. Essentially one person wants to continue a relationship and the other doesn't; however, there are shades of gray, and that's where professional help comes in.

The first thing to do in this situation is to seek professional help, both legal and otherwise. Talk to your spouse and see if they will agree to marriage counseling; if they won't, offer a period of separation so they can figure themselves out.

If they do agree to counseling, make sure it's with a reputable person who has helped others in your situation. Counseling can help tremendously in many ways.

Perhaps it will help you identify problems you weren't aware of, solve issues that have hounded you for years, or simply get a better idea of what's going on in your spouse's head.

This can be the greatest help in coping when your spouse wants a divorce and you don't. And perhaps after, you'll find out you were holding on for all the wrong reasons and agree to the divorce. However, no matter what happens, you will have a better idea of where your spouse stands.

If your spouse still wants a divorce after counseling, don't draw it out. Be aware that though counseling helps in many cases, in others, it doesn't, and that's when it's time to let go. While it may be tempting to try and hold on as long as possible, it just isn't healthy, especially of you have children.

Most of the time, stopping divorce from going through just isn't possible; you can delay it and go to what's called a 'grounds trial' to try and prove there are no grounds for divorce, but the simple fact remains that your spouse wants a divorce and you don't. This begs the question of whether you really want to stay with someone who doesn't want to be with you.

Of course, nothing is ever that cut-and-dried, and that's why seeking professional help is the best way to cope with this situation. If possible, get both couples and individual therapy; it's not cheap, but so worth the tremendous amount of anxiety and heartache you'll either avoid or learn to cope with.

Divorce and Infidelity
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