How to Impress a Russian Woman

How to Impress a Russian Woman

Be your own self, behave as you would have behaved in other similar situations. Do not put on airs. It is better to laugh together at your shyness and perplexity than to pretend being at ease.

Think over everything up to details:

• your first phrase,
• intonation,
• topics to talk of to avoid confusing silence.

There are several points for you to bear in mind.

Your appearance and clothes.
Russians have a proverb, according to which 'You are met by your clothes and seen off by your mind'. Much depends on the impression you make in the very first minute of your date. A Russian woman usually pays her attention to whether a man's shoes are polished bright. I don't need to remind that she will take your dirty shirt and crumpled trousers as a sign of disrespect. You should be dressed neatly and stylishly but not motley colored. Shorts, perhaps, are very comfortable to wear on a hot summer day but they would hardly suit such an occasion as the first date. There are no rigid rules on what to wear. So your clothes should suit your age and the setting of the date.

Presents.
A Russian woman will expect flowers from a man she is having a date with. Mind that Russians give only an odd number of flowers as a present, because an even number of flowers is used in burial ceremonies. The range of flowers that may be presented is variable. If you have already learnt what flowers your woman prefers, buy them. Choosing flowers may also provide you an opportunity to show your aesthetic instinct. The bouquet may be extravagant and not necessarily expensive. Remember that red roses symbolize love. Besides Russians usually do not present yellow flowers, as they are a symbol of separation.

A Russian woman will be embarrassed to receive expensive presents. At the beginning of your acquaintance you may give her flowers, wine or champagne, chocolates, cakes, perfume (of a well-known trade mark) or books. You mustn't give the woman underwear or money as present.

Punctuality.
Russian women cannot forgive a man being late, though a woman can afford to be several minutes late. Do not be annoyed by that and show your patience. Punctuality has never been an integral per of the Russian character, especially that of Russian women.

Manners.
It would be fine if you studied the behavior manners adopted by Russians. That would guarantee you favor and gratitude of any Russian woman. First of all I mean chivalrous actions showing respect for a woman:

• Russian women are not accustomed to pay their share at a cafe, bar, restaurant, public transport or taxi. The spending has been traditionally born by men;

• When you enter or go out of some building you should open the door for the woman and let her go first;

• You should be the first to get off the bus, trolley-bus, etc., and offer a woman your hand to help her out;

• If you are going by car, first let the woman in and only then take your seat;

• When you accompany the woman to the theatre or a museum, when you are walking along the street you should walk on her left holding her arm slightly;

• After the date you should see her to her home or the hotel she has put up at;

• If you have been invited to see the woman's parents you should bear in mind that Russian women attach great importance to having a man acquainted with her parents. If she does introduce you to them it means she looks upon you as being her perspective husband or at least consider the relations between you serious and worth-while.
  
  If you are not so sure about your feelings towards this woman or do not think your relations would last, you'd better find an excise and postpone the visit to her parents. But if you agree, take care of choosing a proper present. You may follow the advice given for choosing a present for your first date with the woman. If you can speak Russian, even a little bit, do not get confused of your bad pronunciation. Even if you know just a few phrases, for example, 'Zdravstvuite' ('How do you do') and 'Kak dela' ('How are things with you'), use them and it will please your woman. Try to feel at ease, but mind the Russian manners.
  
  If you need to visit the bathroom or the toilet, ask the hostess where it is instead of looking for it yourself. Do not drink too much alcohol: though Russians have traditionally been considered a nation that loves alcohol, they wouldn't like the prospective husband of their daughter to be so ill-bred as to get drunk at his first visit to her parents. Russians like to eat abundant and nutritious food but remember that the food is, as a rule, rich and high-calorie, therefore do not overrate your strength at dinner in order to have the evening spoilt by the stomach-ache.

• Do not go to see a Russian woman without an invitation, especially at early stages of your acquaintance. Russians are very hospitable and try to receive guests properly, but if you haven't been invited you may take them unawares. This will create an embarrassing situation for the woman and would hardly be a pleasant surprise.

It would be only logical here whether you have to go to Russia at all. Won't it be easier for your woman to come to your country?

Russian Women and their views on Love

Any Russian woman would like to be the object of chivalrous admiration, to receive flowers and poems written especially for her. However the image of an ideal lover doesn't interfere with love for a real person, not always so positive as she would like. You can often come across such an explanation of the paradox: 'Somebody has to love him as well.' And she can forgive a lot to the person she loves: alcoholism, unfaithfulness, lies and non-chivalrous behavior. The reason for this self-sacrifice and artificially lowered requirements can be traced back to the historical consciousness that retained the awareness of the of the submissive role of women and to the fact the number of women in the country has always been considerably larger than that of men, due to the rough reality of the Russian life (the wars and totalitarian regime).

The situation hasn't changed a lot; as a line of a popular Soviet song goes: 'According to the statistics there are nine boys for ten girls.' Very often a Russian woman, denied the opportunity to choose, is prepared to love anybody just in order to experience the feelings and not to feel unwanted. 'Love is ruthless, love you will even the toothless,' as the folk wisdom tells it. Notwithstanding you shouldn't think that the Russian women are undiscriminating - they are just illogical in their love for men. One may be a tall, handsome and wealthy fellow and still fail to attract a Russian woman's attention. One may be crazy about her and still fail to arouse a response in her. However, that doesn't mean she needs a man with physical or spiritual shortcomings. The thing is that she must fall in love with You and Only You and then you may count on all-conquering forgiveness, on absolute devotion and on that she will undertake anything for your sake.

It is not clear why they contend that only the woman should have a piquancy, a spark. Bear in mind that a Russian woman is looking for a spark in a man as well: the way he adjusts his hair, his smile, the peculiarity of his speech, his absent-mindedness, his funny ways, etc. What you consider to be your defect may turn to be the thing to fire her with admiration.

Russian woman doesn't expect to profit by her love, she is genuinely selfless, and she often sacrifices her career and her interests to those of the beloved person. Devotion determines to a great extent the behavior of a Russian woman in love. For most Russian women the words of the church wedding rite 'I vow to stay with my husband in grief and joy until death separates us', are still the matter of current significance. A case in point is the behavior the wives and fiancées of the Decembrists (the aristocrats who staged a rebellion against the tsar in 1825), who gave up their high social circles and civil rights to follow the Decembrists in exile and in penal colonies in Siberia.

A Russian woman's love is patient, she is ready to forgive many things to her beloved, but you ought not to impose on this quality, because when the camel's back is broken you will experience the power of her jealousy, resentment and even hatred, which is, as it is well-known, only a step from love.

And one more remark: remember that it is in the mentality of every Russian woman that marriage should crown the relations with the beloved person, that is why she will subconsciously look upon herself as your wife. Do not be afraid of that, that is natural, you should bear it in mind.

So we may make a conclusion that a Russian woman in love is characterized by all-conquering forgiveness, a bent for self-sacrifice, passion, devotion, faithfulness, disinterestedness. Therewith she has a tendency to carry her feelings almost to the point of absurdity, to idealize her man, to give her identity, to view her lover as a prospective husband. But if you treat her with contempt, she is capable of ardent hatred.