Mother Should not Turn a Mother in Law

By: Dalip Singh Wasan

Mother should not turn a mother in law.
Dalip Singh Wasan, Advocate.

A mother should remain a mother and should not turn a mother in law. The designation and status of mother in law is artificial one and such a woman actually forgets that she is mother of the house and if a new person has come in the house, he or she is her son or her daughter. It is just an addition in the house and the person who has joined here has come with an intention that he or she would remain in this house or shall remain connected with this house and he or she know what is the status allotted to him and her and he or she must abide by this relation and designation.
As far as India is concerned, her the brides who are joining the house with their husbands are facing so many difficulties and so many problems. The people who are already present in the house are not allowing this new comer full opportunity to join and become a member of this family. They are keeping her apart from the other members of the house and often she is not allowed to listen to the important maters of the house. She is kept like a stranger in the house and the people start concealing so many things and matters from this new comer. They do not realize that this girl who has come here to join this house permanently had been a daughter in a house where all the peop[le were loving her, all the people were having faith in her, all the people were considering her as the most responsible person in the house and they were giving her so many important works, she is the girl which had been doing so may works at the house of her parents and in most of the decisions, the people in the house were having her decisions and what she said, those decisions were accepted as good. The people in this new house never realized that she would not be able to face all these separations all of sudden and she would break her heart. All these new happenings in his new house are shocking and that is the reason, she starts realizing that she is not being taken here as a regular member of the house. And such things happen in the house, we must say that the mother of the house is responsible for all these discriminations in this house.

It is her duty to see that all are accepting the new comer as a member of the house and she must lead in this direction. She should accept this new comer with love and affection and she should be disclosed all the things of the house and she must be allowed to become a full-fledged member of this house.
In most of the cases this mother in law feels that this new comer shall be taking her place and she would be losing all the authority and command in the house. This is the normal course of life and the mother in law must accept this course of life. She must recall those days when she had joined this house and what was happening with her during those days, she was not tolerating and was not accepting all those behaviours from the other side. An she had to struggle for the achievement of the present goal. She should not put her daughter in alw in the same examination and it would be better, she herself prepare this new comer and train her to have the command of the house because if she is taking the command, this old lady shall be having some relief in life. She had been running the house for the last so many years and now she has already a tired person. Old orders must change and yield place to new one and if she recall the days when she was finding our a girl for her son and she was telling each one that she has grown old and now she wants a woman who can take over the charge from her and when this girl has been found and she has joined the house, this old lady must hand over the charge to her without any objection.
The mother of the house must understand that it is her duty to keep the house joint and sound and therefore, she must give good treatment to this new comer because if this new comer is not given due welcome, she would try to prepare her husband to leave this house, because she has not married only to suffer here in this new family. She married so that she should establish a house to which she could call her own house and where she shall have a final say. This psychology of the bride must be understood and must be allowed to flourish because this old lady has also got her daughters and she is desiring that her daughters should have command in the new house. If she is demanding command for her daughters, then she must give this position to the bride which has joined in her house. It is very easy and must be transferred without any hitch. The new comer shall be hesitating to take up all these commands, because she shall be telling the mother that she has got no experience and therefore, the mother should continue with these commands in the house as hither to and at the same time, the old lady must take this new comer as her own daughter and must look into the difficulties which this new comer is facing in the new house. If the mother becomes the mother of this new comer and starts helping her in adjusting herself in the new circumstances, she shall be liked by the new comer and there are no chances of troubles in the house because this new comer has come here to join the house.
A mother may turn a mother in law, as per traditions, but at all the times she should bear the character of a mother and if she remains a mother, then this new comer shall also start taking her as her own mother and there shall be no trouble in the house. If the mother in law turns a mother, then no parent shall be killing a daughter before her birth, no daughter in law shall be burnt, no daughter in law shall be committing suicide and there shall be no dispute of dowry and on dowry items. We have already suffered much and let this old lady may change her character and she is the main cause of all the troubles in the house and also in the society. If daughters in law are being killed, the mother in law is responsible and if they are committing suicide, even then the mother in law is responsible and she is also responsible for shortening number of girls in some of the areas. The mother is always for giving birth and for bringing up children and when people are not allowed entries in this world, are being killed or are being compelled to commit suicide, the mother should curse herself and must start amending her way of life. She is the mother and a mother should never change her character.
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