Moms Getting a Life Makeover

By: susie Pitt

If you are a mom then you know your world changed when you gave birth to your first child.

Going from being a happy self-centred person to completely losing your identity is a common dilemma many women face as they try to juggle the life balance commitment.

All of a sudden the rose coloured picture of a happy little family with the picket fence fades into a grey mass of depression as many women struggle to balance the huge responsibility of trying to be a good parent partner and provider as well.

No one trains us for the most important role of our life, which is being a parent and partner. If we want to become an authority in any career we usually have to spend a few years training before we are considered capable of working in a chosen field. Even after training many professions require that you are mentored and start at the bottom of the ladder and work your way up.

Parenting requires none of the above and in recent years women have been expected to learn on the job or from books and magazines, because the matriarchs in the family are no longer taking on the role of trainer and mentor.

In tribal life and in years gone by, young women were trained supported and nurtured into the role of mothering and marriage. If they made mistakes there were always numerous female family members at the ready to offer a soft landing and to gently train and guide the young women to maturity.

Today young women have very little support and the results are evidenced by postnatal depression and tremendous pressure on relationships and in many cases, divorce and or domestic violence.

Never before has the family unit been under so much threat. Meeting the mortgage payments and keeping the wolf from the door are often the immediate pressures facing young families. However in most cases the last consideration is the emotional state of the woman in the family, trying to juggle all the hats and be something to everyone.

Without a dramatic change in thinking and planning and reaching out for help, vulnerable families will go to the wall and in many cases the women will be left holding the babies.

Life designing, goal setting, and training are imperative for young women regardless of how well things are going. Women need to shift out of the mentality that says" I'm only a housewife and mother or" I'm just a soccer Mom" or Im hopeless at this mothering thing, or I cant work and raise a family successfully.

Becoming a competent emotionally balanced woman is the prerequisite for achieving the life you want to live. Many women are ignoring the warning signs of family breakdown because they are drowning in confusion and pressure.

If you are a mom reading this, realize you do have the ability to change your life.

Knowledge is power and you can completely change your circumstances.

Every woman deserves to live a great life and can. You should have dreams goals and aspirations regardless of financial status education, creed, race or colour. There are tried and true systems of achieving dreams and goals and they can be worked on systematically and slowly over time. These are a few fundamentals:

Step 1.

Believe you can and will live a better more congruent life. This means you are going to have to fight a few demons in your head that tell you that being a mom means sacrifice and burying your dreams and aspirations.

You will need to overcome the big " G ".... mothers guilt, it stops 95% of moms achieving what they should. Guilt is a crippling emotion that is likely to end in stress and resentment. Get rid of it, or it will steal your dreams from you.

Step 2.

Decide on the life you really want to live, that includes everything from parenting, family, career, money, relationships, things you would like to work towards owning, your spiritual life and values.

Step 3.

Write it down and then chunk it down. If the end result looks too big you wont finish it. Its important to do little chunks at a time. You never complete a journey if you don't take the first step. Every step takes you closer to your goal. Every small success is a victory and moves you towards your ultimate goal.

Step 4.

Have faith that you will achieve it. If you believe you can you will ....if you believe you cant you wont. Don't start a goal that's too big. Start small and grow your faith like a muscle. Lots of small successes will lead you to extraordinary achievements and before you know it you will be designing a life you never thought possible.

Step 5.

The most import lesson of all to remember is you can have it all.... just not all at once.

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