Affluent Spousal Abuse

By: Dr. Jeanne King

Common thinking is that domestic violence is a misfortune that befalls the lower class. We hear about them more, we see more of them, we have public services to care for their needs...but that doesn't make them in the majority when it comes to domestic abuse.

I would venture to say that we are looking at a relative representation of the population; not a socio-economic indicator of domestic abuse.

Would you know a battered queen if you saw one? Moreover, would you recognize yourself as one if that were indeed the case?

Who Are the Battered Queens?

Battered queens come in all shapes and sizes. They can be doctors, lawyers, movie stars, financial experts.... They may be stay at home moms who drive a Mercedes, manage multiple household employees and spend as much on an outfit as most people spend on a season's wardrobe.

Spending the family money is often their punishment to their abuser for physical battery, assault and spousal emotional abuse.

It's one of their contributions to the cycle of abuse. They love it and they hate it, at the same time.

They are usually in the largest and most tightly sealed closet, and they represent the biggest elephants under the carpet. Why? Because the implications of their "coming out" can be far more deadly than for others who are battered.

They know their financial privilege is part of their problem and realize their abusive partner has an endless army to draw upon to maintain control. Often times, this is the primary reason they stay in the abusive relationship.

The Risk of Leaving an Abusive Relationship for Battered Queens

Their exits pose extreme risks to themselves and to their children because there is much fuel to feed many extensions of the abuser. So on the way out, the abuse canand more often than notmultiply exponentially overnight. Many are buried in, and by, the ordeal.

For some there is an inward comfort in knowing that their abuser is preoccupied with abusing them through the courts, rather than taking matters into the streets. The damage they sustain by virtue of their expensive exit out from the abusive relationship can be equally devastating.

Ray of Hope for Battered Queens

If you are a battered queen, know you are not alone. There are services for you, though they will be diamonds in the rough. Further, know you can use your family privilege to aid in your survival if you play your hand wisely. Lastly don't give up on yourself or on the possibility of breaking-free with your lifeFeature Articles, liberties and integrity in tack.

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