Teaching Your Teenager That It Is Alright To Just Say No

By: Donald Saunders

This may seem an odd thing to say but a large number of parents do not understand how crucial it is to teach children that dating and sex are not the same thing. Sad though it is many teenagers simply assume that sex is a normal part of dating and even a cursory glance at television and magazines aimed at this group shows just why this is the case. Do not assume that your children understand the difference between dating and sex and make sure that you clearly communicate this message to them.

Make sure that you teach your children the difference between dating and sex from an early age and reinforce this message frequently. Above all, help your teens to appreciate that dating means getting to know other people emotionally and not only physically.

Teenagers will often have a 'single track mind' and you will need to hint at other things for them to do when out on a date rather than simply focusing their minds on having sex. This may seem silly but you would be astounded at how often teens turn to sex as an option simply because they are bored and cannot come up with anything else to occupy their time.

So, as odd as it may seem you really will need to recommend things that your teens can do on a date to have fun. If you can succeed in getting them to stay busy enough then there is a good chance that they will have to say no less often.?

A number of parents teach their children how to go about saying no to sex and come up with a whole string of excuses or quips. The is all well and good but a one-liner only tends to work once and merely brushing off the suggestion with a one-liner is only putting the question off and leaving the door open for the suggestion to keep coming up again and again. The answer therefore is to instruct your child to simply say no clearly and firmly and that, though they may want to give reasons, they do not need to do so and simply saying no ought to be sufficient.

If you find yourself in the position where your child has already had sex then you might believe that it is too late to teach them to say no. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Many teenagers feel that once they have had sex once they cannot reasonably refuse to do so again. The fact that they have had sex however does not mean that this can simply be 'crossed off' their development list and you will need to make it clear that they can refuse sex if they feel uncomfortable. You should also discuss with them the fact that having sex should always be something of significance and special and that a great deal myth surrounds the importance of their first sexual experience.

While talking about the importance of establishing relationships that are based upon a lot more than just sex, it is also imperative to combine this with teaching your children about safe sex practices. However much you may wish to do so you cannot always stop your teenagers from having sex. You can however provide yourself with some peace of mind by attempting to ensure that your children keep themselves safeArticle Submission, even when they choose not to listen to your advice to stand up for themselves and make wise choices.

Kids and Teens
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