Love marriage Our Parents Accepted Us & We Got Married We Lived Happily for 2 Years Then some trouble started. In India people marry to have children so that their line should go on. But I was not agreeing to this proposal. My husband Bikram wanted kids and he suggested that I accept the advice of his mother and other members in the family. I noticed that my husband Bikram had started sitting with his mother and sister for hours together. He was leaving me all alone. During the first few days I could tolerate all these actions of ignoring me, but somehow, I started feeling jealous. I wanted that when we returned to our house, Bikram should spend some hours with me and if I desire to have some shopping he should accompany me and in addition to this he was my husband and I wanted that he should be sharing my problems which I had been facing in the college with the students, with my colleagues and with my seniuors. But Bikram had started ignoring me. My husband had been spending his nights with me, but I noticed that the same love and affection was not present which had been present during our days of mating. I was not tolerating all these changes, but I noticed that Bikram was unconcerned and he was not having any talk on this subject. I noticed that he had started coming to bed room late at night beyond 10 P.M. when I had gone in deep sleep. I never wished that some person, even my husband should disturb me at these late hours because I was in the habit of going to bed exact at 9.30P.M. and I was in habit of getting up at 04.00A.M. in the morning. So there had been occasions, when we both had been sleeping separately without having anything which was possible in between husband and wife. I was tired of this life, because I had married so that I could live with a man who shall be my husband and when such relations could not be established here in this house, I was sorry to have married. I started feeling that I should turn unmarried once again, but it was not possible. But at the same time I was not ready to live here just an additional member in the house of my in laws. I had been brought by my husband and when there were no relations of husband and wife, then there was no fun in living here in this house. So I left the house and went to the house of my own parents. They were not accepting all these transactions, but when I explained my position to my mother, she allowed me to stay in the house. But somehow my parents had started negotiating with the people in the house of my in laws. I had two brothers and both were married. Their wives were not happy for my transfer to this house, but they were keeping mum on the subject. I was having doctorate degree with me and both my sisters in law were just matriculates. They were not expressing any thoughts, but their behaviour was not so cordial which was present when I was a member of this house. I was not tolerating all this. This house of my parents had become a house of strangers for me because my room had been occupied by other members of the house and I had started sharing the room of my mother. The conditions present here were not cooperating me and at times, I Was feeling that I had done something wrong and in my heart of heart I was desiring that some one from the house my in laws should come and I should go with him or her. My husband Bikram had been talking to me on phone and he had been suggesting me that I should come back, but he had not visited our house to take me back because, as per information received from his side, his mother was not allowing him to come and take me back. He informed me that his mother wants that I had left the house at my own accord and therefore, I should come back myself and no one from the house of my in laws shall come to take me. And in fact I had created some more problems for myself and these problems were beyond my approach. So I had started suffering here in the house of my own parents where my sisters in law had started talking to the people around that my in laws had thrown me out of the house and I have back. People had started commenting adversely on me and therefore, I had created adverse situations for myself. Sister of my husband was not having good days in the house of her own in laws, therefore, she was not having any interference here in our affairs. But somehow she had come to meet me and had been staying with me for two days. She said, ' I know that you have got your own problems. But all these problems are written by God Himself in the fate of every woman of India. You know my position. You are in a position to give birth to a child whereas I have been declared totally unfit to give birth to a child. Therefore, I have accepted all the challenges of God and is living in the family. I have allowed to them have a new bride for their son because they want a child at their house. All these problems are not present with you. Therefore, I can say that you are lucky enough. If they want a child, you should give them a child. It is the first duty of woman to give a child to the family in which she has come and joined. If you are not giving them a child, they are right and you are in the wrong. You should go back and give them a child. The other problems which are with you shall be solved with the coming of the child in the family' She agreed to my proposal that I shall be allowed to establish a separate house and her brother Bikram shall be handing over all his income to her for running the family administration. And it is on record that my sister in law arranged all these separate establishment and she brought me back to the matrimonial house. I noticed that all went well and all were having very cordial relations. There had been a happy beginning once again and one of my friends said, ' Some troubles are there because two cultures are at war and are confronting each other. Then the war ends and there comes peace.' And actually I started a peaceful life once again and there had been no trouble with me. I handed over one lakh of rupees to my sister in law and I also arranged a boy for her from an orphanage. Now she too has got a very happy life. She once told me, ' Troubles come in life of each one of us. We should face those troubles with courage and must wait for the next turn where we should be out of that trouble.' |
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