Five Minutes Before the Miracle

by : Angie Dixon

Even though this article was next on my idea list, and I write them in order whether I want to or not, I REALLY didn’t want to write this article. Why not? Because it’s about not giving up five minutes before the miracle—and I’m in the process of doing just that.

I won’t go into a lot of details, but there’s something I really want, that I thought was within my grasp. I found out a few hours ago that after being promised, I’m not going to get it. I’ve wanted it a long time, I’ve spent a lot of time going from web site to web site choosing exactly what I need, and now I’m not getting it. I’m ready to give up. To say, “Okay, I’m not supposed to have it. Can I stop trying now?"

The answer is yes, I can stop trying. I can stop trying and I can go without what I really want and I can go on with my life, never knowing if there might be a miracle waiting five minutes from now.

I’m in a lot of pain, and I want to just curl up and mourn. But instead I’m writing articles and keeping myself busy and trying NOT to let myself get so down that I do give up. I’m certainly not giving up before I talk to everyone in my life and ask them what they think I should do.

I really believe that people who never have miracles in their lives have given up five minutes before the miracle. I honestly feel that’s true. Yet here I sit, ready to give up, not knowing if there’s an even better dog (that’s what it is—I had the perfect dog picked out and was told I couldn’t have him) waiting around the corner. While it seems no dog would be as perfect for me as the one I didn’t get, it’s possible. I’ve looked at a lot of dogs. Why not look at a few more? Five, say. Look at five dogs and see how I feel about them. If I want to decide not to get a dog after all, I can do that tomorrow, or next week, or next month. I can even do it after the miracle, if I decide to.

The key is just, as I’ve said, not bailing out five minutes before the miracle.